Just know that the moms you see on social media are highlighting their best moments and it’s a HIGHLIGHT REEL. Ever feel like no matter what you do it’s never enough? Let’s talk about Mom Guilt in 5 minutes or less today on the 5 minute Mama. Hi, I’m Elyssa your host and mom of 2, here to real talk with fellow mamas. Why does mom guilt happen? Immense pressures from society, cultural expectations and moms place themselves on a pedestal of how they have to be the perfect representation of a mother. I like to call it Pinterest Moms but we’re not here to judge because if you are a Pinterest mom then I envy you. Social media plays a big role in heightening mom guilt these days. We are exposed to perfectly curated mommy vlogs complete with Alo workout sets and colour matching Stanleys to signify – she’s got it together. To be honest, I have workout sets and a Stanley and I never seem to have it together. I find most of my mom guilt affects me by not allowing me to be present. What I mean is that I’m always living 2 steps ahead and not living in the moment. For example, I’m prepping lunch for the next day rather than taking the time to understand how my daughter felt about her day TODAY. I’m thinking about how I’m going to need to pop back online on my computer while I’m giving my two kids a bath and thinking of how much work I have and when I’m going to eventually go to bed. The mental load is something else. Is the laundry done? Does my 4 year old have an undershirt for the negative 15 degree day? And if not how could I have been so forgetful and careless to do something as simple as switch over the laundry? It’s that mental load that plays as a feedback loop in my head making sure I’m the perfect mom and not letting one ball drop. And what happens after all of this? I send up crashing and burning on the weekends when I should be spending more time with my kids and actually be having fun. My kids don’t get all of me they just get fragments of me maybe it’s slumping on the couch and having them play on the floor like I’m the worst mom ever and then I feel the guilt when I go to bed at night. I’ve often think of how I can be more present with my kids and ultimately try to get rid of some guilt sneaks up on me especially on the weekends. One thing I have been doing is putting my phone in another room where I cannot access it. This forces me to be present in the moment so im not focusing on email or browsing stores to purchase something for them or checking the news which completely derails me. The second thing I did was stopped comparing myself to other moms I see online. I can appreciate good social media content but when I see these carefully curated day in the life videos I laugh to myself. My matching gap sweat suit is enough. The third thing I do is ask for help from my partner. I recognize when I need to get out of house, just to get outside out of my environment. I am trying not to shop so that proves to be difficult but sometimes I go to the community center to read a book on my ereader which has been one of the best purchases as a mom, go to the library or just drive to my favourite thrift store because I LOVE doing that. When I come back after an hour I feel so much more refreshed and energetic. Really it’s all about recognizing when you start feeling that comparison sneak up on you and shutting off all external communication and reminders that mom life isn’t perfect. If you enjoyed this chat please subscribe here or on Spotify for more mom content in 5 minutes or less on The Five Minute mama.  

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