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Listen "4 Types of Nonsense You Can Avoid to Cultivate Awareness About the Dangers of Self Help"
Episode Synopsis
On a Road to Self Acceptance with Tara Massan and Seth Singleton
We start out with the weather.
The Butte and Camp Fires have made the air quality in Oakland very dangerous.
I share a few personal examples including the joys and discomforts of wearing an air mask on a daily basis.
Tara is enjoying a snowstorm that she describes as normal for where she lives in Minnesota. Tara welcomes the snow because it coats the bleak winter landscape when it is dry.
When Self-Help Goes Bad
2 main sections Tara wants to address:
The Dangers of Self-Help and Nonsense we have all heard.
Self help can reinforce feelings of shame and guilt and being less than
Self help can enable avoidance and procrastination
Self help creates more analysis by paralysis
Self help is a diminishing return
It creates the urge to say I want to fix this…
That’s great, if you want to live to your potential
But diving in can mean I can’t fix a problem until I fix what is wrong with me
Self Help is a business that sells information
Not a product that is tangible
To keep you hooked you have to keep fixing what is wrong with you
You don’t have to be or think a certain way to be worthy
It gets you hooked on the idea that you are not enough.
What’s wrong with you?
You should be doing this?
Needing help
Find a coach
Guilt is not help
You’ll Never Be Good Enough Until You Do This
There’s Something Wrong You
Self Help is a product of searching and discovery
Specific examples and results
Self-Help as a band-aid
A form of avoidance
Meaningful action
Build a door to enter a room
I kind of cut her off here
Embracing the suck
Rumi quote
4 Types of Nonsense
1. You learn to be successful by listening to successful people
How many people have followed this advice and failed?
How many did not follow and succeeded?
Do you they have a hidden variable like luck or money?
2. Positive Psychology
Good to ask what is the positive here?
This has led to “Avoid Negative Thinking”
Negative thinking can address deep confliction
Negative reveals discovery about self
Negative attitudes reveal unreal expectations
It’s ignoring that you are sick
You will experience both
Sometimes its a bad mood and you don’t have to sit in it
But to ignore it is to make yourself sick
3. Procrastination
Leonardo da Vinci proved procrastination can birth a new idea
It doesn’t make you a bad person
4. Follow your Passion
Does not mean, "Screw your job."
Or that you are Entitled to live your life only by your terms
Your passion may not be your income
It may not lead to greatness
Beware Misrepresentation
Passion requires work
Invest in your passion
You still have to do something about it
5. Developing an Awareness
Think Critically
Cultivating your Awareness
Be comfortable seeing things that might not feel comfortable.
This podcast is Part 3 of a series.
For Part 1 click here
Click here for Part 2
We start out with the weather.
The Butte and Camp Fires have made the air quality in Oakland very dangerous.
I share a few personal examples including the joys and discomforts of wearing an air mask on a daily basis.
Tara is enjoying a snowstorm that she describes as normal for where she lives in Minnesota. Tara welcomes the snow because it coats the bleak winter landscape when it is dry.
When Self-Help Goes Bad
2 main sections Tara wants to address:
The Dangers of Self-Help and Nonsense we have all heard.
Self help can reinforce feelings of shame and guilt and being less than
Self help can enable avoidance and procrastination
Self help creates more analysis by paralysis
Self help is a diminishing return
It creates the urge to say I want to fix this…
That’s great, if you want to live to your potential
But diving in can mean I can’t fix a problem until I fix what is wrong with me
Self Help is a business that sells information
Not a product that is tangible
To keep you hooked you have to keep fixing what is wrong with you
You don’t have to be or think a certain way to be worthy
It gets you hooked on the idea that you are not enough.
What’s wrong with you?
You should be doing this?
Needing help
Find a coach
Guilt is not help
You’ll Never Be Good Enough Until You Do This
There’s Something Wrong You
Self Help is a product of searching and discovery
Specific examples and results
Self-Help as a band-aid
A form of avoidance
Meaningful action
Build a door to enter a room
I kind of cut her off here
Embracing the suck
Rumi quote
4 Types of Nonsense
1. You learn to be successful by listening to successful people
How many people have followed this advice and failed?
How many did not follow and succeeded?
Do you they have a hidden variable like luck or money?
2. Positive Psychology
Good to ask what is the positive here?
This has led to “Avoid Negative Thinking”
Negative thinking can address deep confliction
Negative reveals discovery about self
Negative attitudes reveal unreal expectations
It’s ignoring that you are sick
You will experience both
Sometimes its a bad mood and you don’t have to sit in it
But to ignore it is to make yourself sick
3. Procrastination
Leonardo da Vinci proved procrastination can birth a new idea
It doesn’t make you a bad person
4. Follow your Passion
Does not mean, "Screw your job."
Or that you are Entitled to live your life only by your terms
Your passion may not be your income
It may not lead to greatness
Beware Misrepresentation
Passion requires work
Invest in your passion
You still have to do something about it
5. Developing an Awareness
Think Critically
Cultivating your Awareness
Be comfortable seeing things that might not feel comfortable.
This podcast is Part 3 of a series.
For Part 1 click here
Click here for Part 2
In God we trust