Ok, I might actually contradict myself here because this actually is probably the weirdest song on the project, and there’s a lot going in, in a short amount of time, and that’s part of the concept.

This song takes place in the final moments of my first night’s sleep in my “Private Eden”. The music fades in slowly, and doesn’t hit full volume until my verse is almost complete. I’m envisioning that last part of the verse being the moment when I first wake up, but I haven’t opened my eyes yet. I don’t want to. What if all this was a dream and I’m going to open my eyes to the same problems and anxiety. I WANT to hold on to this moment as long as I can.

I layered my vocals, and it’s meant to symbolize I’m having an inner-dialog. The two different vocal tracks are at slightly different volumes and are each tuned differently and with different types of effects, to express my different viewpoints on the steps I should take.

The more popular phrase is a long goodbye, because it’s hard to let something end, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do here. BUT, in life we often know what we should do, but struggle with doing. Part of me knows I need to just trust, or continue pushing towards a solution if this indeed is not it. So, it should be a “Short Goodbye”, and I should open my eyes and face reality, and that is ultimately what I am going to do, despite not wanting to.

Originally, I wanted to ask Presyce to find a “sound” to scratch, rather than words or a quote like every other song, and what I usually do for hooks. I wanted him to scratch as if he was doing a guitar solo or similar. But, I still like everything to be conceptual, so I just put the word “goodbye” in my itunes search to see if I could find a song (Rock, Punk, Soul, Funk, Folk, etc…) that had “Goodbye” in the song title, that had an instrument part that would work for scratching. Then, while listening to “Never Can Say Goodbye”, I noticed how the vocal is buried in the beat on some parts and when scratched it sounds more musical than vocal. It reminded of the whispered legends from the 80s that certain DJs could do a thing called “Turntable Talk” where they made a record say something it didn’t by scratching it a certain way. I first heard that in 1984, from DJ Pill from North Carolina, who was an older GI, who took the 3D Crew under his wing and mentored us. The most “famous” and amazing version I’ve ever heard of the technique is the “Hijack Scratch” from UK’s finest, Hijack The Terrorist Group, one of my all-time favorites. This “goodbye” scratch isn’t exactly that technique, but it’s a nod to it.

The idea is that although I do open my eyes at the last words of the song, the listener never knows what happens. It’s a sort of “choose your own adventure” moment. Do you think I truly found happiness? Was it all a dream? It’s left open-ended. And, to contradict the song title, it goes on for a time after my verse, first a long scratch solo, and then the beat plays on for a bit after. It’s an intentional contradiction.

It’s a question I’ll have to answer in the future. The work is still in progress, but I feel like I’m getting really close…

I might need a plan B, alternative true me
But what would that plan be? And how will it suit me?
Did I give my all? ABSOLUTELY….
NOT, but I did give A LOT, and I gained a lot
And I lost so much, maybe more than I thought
Took what I learned, and I taught
Wrote my own narrative, but still forgot the plot
But the world doesn’t stop
So I’m preparing a crop of
Medicinal musical therapeutical
Themes that are beautiful, but slightly unusual
We’re living in strange times
Not here not here to change minds
If this is the last time for these joy and pain rhymes
Imma spread my wings and y’all can clock my hang time
And say goodbye at the same time…

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