In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores why answering the question ‘how are you?’ with the knee-jerk answer of ‘fine’ is holding us back. It’s a reflex to deflect attention away from ourselves, but there’s a hidden cost that keeps us invisible. Cindy lays out why learning to answer honestly can transform not just our relationships but our professional opportunities. She guides us through how to speak up, track our own progress without comparison, and build stronger connections for visibility and recognition.Deflecting attention from ourselves by answering ‘fine’ opens us up to the listener role in which we hide ourselves and take on whatever others want to say. That unconsciously tells others that our contributions don’t warrant recognition, and over time, it limits our careers. How do we know if this is happening to us? Cindy outlines three things to watch for: 1. We’re always in the listener role, 2. Our colleagues never reciprocate curiosity and can’t be bothered to ask ‘what about you?’, and 3. Balancing privacy with openness.How do we learn to open up while still protecting our personal lives, then? Cindy has three practical strategies to try: 1. Share small, intentional pieces of ourselves, 2. Test the waters, and 3. Use curiosity as a two-way street. Another thing that keeps us from deserved recognition is only ever asking others how we’re doing and not measuring our progress on our own. We need to build our own honest scorecard so that our sense of worth is not at the discretion of others. Cindy shares how answering honestly and learning not to deflect attention away from ourselves will create the confidence and visibility we need to move forward.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Answering HonestlyAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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