I was outlining this episode on a Friday night during a pickup at a noisy sushi bar, surrounded by laughter and music, quietly drafting notes about stillness. The irony wasn't lost on me—but that's exactly when the teaching comes, in the chaos before you learn to find the silence within.This episode is about why daily spiritual practice isn't optional anymore. Not because it's virtuous or enlightened, but because I was cracked open. I hit rock bottom thinking "it would be easier not to exist than to exist," and at that moment, I realized my mind couldn't carry me anymore—I needed something deeper. The silence I'd been running from with cannabis, energy drinks, TV, and video games was the only thing that could actually save me.I share what happened when I finally stopped numbing: sobbing hysterically during meditation, missing my son so intensely I could barely breathe, chronic rent anxiety waking me at 3am, friends and church paying my bills while I struggled to accept help, my radiator fan dying on top of everything else. The grief I'd been suppressing for years came flooding up the moment I sat still—and it needed to. As Ajahn Chah said, "If you haven't wept deeply, you haven't begun to meditate."We explore the Beatitudes in Aramaic (not "blessed are the meek" but "flourishing are those empty of ego, whose breath is not clenched"), Meister Eckhart's "the word is hidden in the soul, heard only in silence," Thich Nhat Hanh's tree-in-storm metaphor (bring attention down to the trunk, not the branches), Rumi's "Two Shops" poem about living in the nowhere you came from, Jesus on "consider the lilies—they neither toil nor spin," Chuang Tzu's archer who goes blind when shooting for gold, the Dalai Lama on never needing to worry, St. John of the Cross on dark nights as purification, and Osho's "don't seek, don't search—relax."Featuring wisdom on why emotions are storms that pass (but you need practice BEFORE the storm arrives), how practice reveals what's buried in your soil, why receiving help is hard when you want to fix everything yourself, the difference between thinking you're gliding like an eagle vs. being the eagle, how apple trees bear apples and the universe bears people (you're not a mistake), and why letting go isn't weakness—it's precision.If you're afraid of what you'll find in the silence, exhausted from running, or wondering why you should meditate when life is already overwhelming—this one's for you. The silence is trustworthy. The practice is necessary. And you are not separate from the whole.I'm also announcing a new side series called "Unpatterned" for honest reflection on breaking mental patterns, specific practices like Vipassana and Zazen, and the false stories we inherit.Want to share a thought?Support the show🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/standingnowhere🎧 Listen on your favorite app💬 Join our community on Discord📩 Email: [email protected](Tap “Support the show” above to become a Patron — thank you!)

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