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Listen "Let Your No Be A No, And Your Yes Be A Yes – Bob Conlin"
Episode Synopsis
On this episode guest host Bob Conlin presents the last of his series of episodes on relationships, Bob wraps up with a conversation focused on the relationship we have to ourselves and looking through the particular lens of how we choose, decide, say 'no', and say 'yes'.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
One of the most important things we can do for our experience of life is to understand the relationship we have with ourselves and to understand the relationships we have with the ones we love and those that we lead.
We talked about the investment of what it would take to hire me. It’s an investment of time – typically 60 minutes a week spent on calls – it’s also energy, the amount of energy required to take yourself on and look at your life in a distinguished way, look at your relationships in a distinguished way. It takes something to be in so much awareness about your life and what is there, what is not, what the gap is and then to do something about it and take that uncomfortable action takes a lot of energy. Finally, there is an investment in money to spend on your own growth and development, to hire a partner to push you outside of your comfort zone, to hold you accountable where you’d normally stop, and to keep you connected to this beautiful vision of what’s possible in your life, to keep you enrolled in it. More times than not, when we get to money everything shifts.
How many times in your life have you said ‘yes’ and you didn’t mean it? Maybe you said it to end a conversation and promised to follow up with them knowing full-well you wouldn’t. What does the fear need? What would make you more comfortable? What’s actually in the way? Be in conversation about it and find a way something can happen. If you’re a ‘yes’, be a ‘yes’ or a ‘yes and…’ or a ‘yes but…’ or a ‘yes and I’m going to figure out how to make this happen’.
Is your ‘no’ really a no? Is it a way to let yourself off the hook from doing the work, making the uncomfortable conversation, saying the thing that needs to be said, settling or tolerating things in your life that you actually don’t want but are unwilling to get uncomfortable enough to make the change happen. Often we’re a ‘no’ out of fear because we don’t have a guarantee of what’s going to happen on the other side, we are or could be completely thrust into the unknown so we simply say ‘no’ because that’s easier, it keeps us in our comfort zone and keeps us knowing what there is to know, keeps us knowing our current life experience. The challenge that comes with that is if you’re not where you want to be why do you keep saying no? Why is the no still there?
BEST MOMENTS
‘Our ‘yes’ should always be a yes and our ‘no’ should always be a no, but the way it typically goes is not that.’
‘My goal, as a coach, is to get my clients to see new possibilities and, if I’ve done my job, they are then ‘enrolled’ in what could be possible in their lives.’
‘Are you a ‘yes’ for this or are you a ‘no’? For you to choose at this moment is probably a breakthrough.’
‘No 'is a powerful word. Use it as a full sentence. It saves so many people so much time.’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon)
World Game-Changers Group
ABOUT THE GUEST
Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation.
His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do, in order to fulfil his life purpose.
As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020.
Website: www.conlincoaching.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.
Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational:
Contributing Significantly To World Peace…
He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.
This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring. He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide.
Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising.
CONTACT METHODS
Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155
E-mail: [email protected]
Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/
KEY TAKEAWAYS
One of the most important things we can do for our experience of life is to understand the relationship we have with ourselves and to understand the relationships we have with the ones we love and those that we lead.
We talked about the investment of what it would take to hire me. It’s an investment of time – typically 60 minutes a week spent on calls – it’s also energy, the amount of energy required to take yourself on and look at your life in a distinguished way, look at your relationships in a distinguished way. It takes something to be in so much awareness about your life and what is there, what is not, what the gap is and then to do something about it and take that uncomfortable action takes a lot of energy. Finally, there is an investment in money to spend on your own growth and development, to hire a partner to push you outside of your comfort zone, to hold you accountable where you’d normally stop, and to keep you connected to this beautiful vision of what’s possible in your life, to keep you enrolled in it. More times than not, when we get to money everything shifts.
How many times in your life have you said ‘yes’ and you didn’t mean it? Maybe you said it to end a conversation and promised to follow up with them knowing full-well you wouldn’t. What does the fear need? What would make you more comfortable? What’s actually in the way? Be in conversation about it and find a way something can happen. If you’re a ‘yes’, be a ‘yes’ or a ‘yes and…’ or a ‘yes but…’ or a ‘yes and I’m going to figure out how to make this happen’.
Is your ‘no’ really a no? Is it a way to let yourself off the hook from doing the work, making the uncomfortable conversation, saying the thing that needs to be said, settling or tolerating things in your life that you actually don’t want but are unwilling to get uncomfortable enough to make the change happen. Often we’re a ‘no’ out of fear because we don’t have a guarantee of what’s going to happen on the other side, we are or could be completely thrust into the unknown so we simply say ‘no’ because that’s easier, it keeps us in our comfort zone and keeps us knowing what there is to know, keeps us knowing our current life experience. The challenge that comes with that is if you’re not where you want to be why do you keep saying no? Why is the no still there?
BEST MOMENTS
‘Our ‘yes’ should always be a yes and our ‘no’ should always be a no, but the way it typically goes is not that.’
‘My goal, as a coach, is to get my clients to see new possibilities and, if I’ve done my job, they are then ‘enrolled’ in what could be possible in their lives.’
‘Are you a ‘yes’ for this or are you a ‘no’? For you to choose at this moment is probably a breakthrough.’
‘No 'is a powerful word. Use it as a full sentence. It saves so many people so much time.’
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679
Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon)
World Game-Changers Group
ABOUT THE GUEST
Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation.
His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do, in order to fulfil his life purpose.
As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020.
Website: www.conlincoaching.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.
Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational:
Contributing Significantly To World Peace…
He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.
This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring. He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide.
Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising.
CONTACT METHODS
Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155
E-mail: [email protected]
Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com
Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/
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