Heather and Cynthia come in hot today talking about the “not a birthday party” Heather planned for Cynthia — featuring Bridgerton gowns, Boy Scout uniforms, and Heather wearing her mom’s silk ball gown that allegedly ties 11 different ways (some of which should  probably never see daylight).

Vegas also makes an appearance — where Mike booked a 6:30 a.m. flight “because it was cheaper,” entered Cynthia’s birthday wrong, and waltzed through TSA PreCheck while she stood with the masses questioning her life.

It’s peak Sidetracked today: medical drama, surprise costumes, a gala/gay-la/gah-la pronunciation debate, husbands panicking over dress codes, and moms turning hospital IVs into spa fantasies. 

Come for the gallbladder chaos; stay for the gala spiral — and leave wondering if Cynthia has a slot machine problem. 

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