TRANSCRIPT FOR EP20:Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about SELF PUNISHMENT & SELF REWARD Part 2Many of us believe that money does not fall from the sky and in order to earn money, we have to work very hard. Unfortunately, sometimes we use money as a punchbag, to hide our emotions and in doing so, we are subconsciously punishing ourselves.,Sometimes, we lack the self-control to refuse food that is unhealthy to our bodies.Even though we don't know why we eat those spicy foods, and we might end up going to the toilet several times the next day or even need to see the doctor in the end.Sometimes, in the name of self-reward, we purchase luxury products to recognise ourselves for our own hard work. However, what we do not recognise are the complex emotions behind these acts of self-reward and self-punishment.This brings me back to my last episode where I talked about my overspending. Due to my spendthrift habits, I did not have much savings. Most of my money was spent buying things that I did not use and ended up taking space at home. In the past, whenever I went shopping, I would buy things and end up feeling guilty or uncertain. But I was not sure what is the reason that caused this, I thought that since I worked hard to earn the money hence I have the right to spend in whatever way I wanted and I deserved to pamper myself by buying the things I like. Plus my job did not pay me well and I felt lousy not being able to earn more or have a job that pays me well. So I self reward myself by buying expensive items.I continued behaving in this way until several years ago when I went shopping with my colleagues and one of them commented that there was a dress which was suitable for me. The dress was quite expensive to me, because even after discount it cost around RM300. I bought it without much hesitation since my colleague said that it is very suitable for me and I should be able to pamper myself. After buying the dress, I did not wear it for more than 4 times as some parts of the dress were made of leather which requires dry cleaning services. I have to spend extra money cleaning it after every wear. I reflected upon it and it occurs to me that I simply bought the dress without actually knowing if I was the one who really wanted it, and if I am really happy to own it or I just want to cover my inner insecurity with expensive clothes. The important thing is that,  it didn’t get me feel better after wearing it, I am still not happy when I encounter the things that I felt not smoothly.Apart from this incident, I also bought many things that didn't really make me happy but rather I just used the money to pay for something to satisfy my short term happiness. After realising this bad habit, I started to throw or donate away those things that I don't want. I even gave away my SGD$1500 LV bag and wallet to my niece. And for 6 mths, I did not spend money buying any other things. I soon realised that I can actually live with basic items and still be very happy. I no longer need to buy things to make myself happy. I learn to appreciate simple things like short walks, nature, chatting with friends, all these makes me happy even without me spending a single cent and i’m a lot happierAfter I understand that I do not get my strength or reward from buying material items, I can simply live with basic items and still be happy easily, I no longer need to buy expensive things. I am able to focus whole heartedly in my work and everything becomes smoother for me. You can just be yourself and not be dependent on other things or people for happiness.When I spend less, I still feel good and happy. I am still able to become a better self than before. Now, I can wear normal and not branded or expensive dresses , without feeling unhappy and dissatisfied. I can be myself and be an authentic version of myself to the people around me. When our self reward is done through guilt, unhappiness or as a revenge , it is not in a good nature and it circulates bad energy and attracts more unnecessary spending. On the other hand, when we self reward with happiness, joy and satisfaction, you will find yourself in balance with the universe and you will attract abundance. If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/leeyongtehInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/d_t_l_y/Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/deon-teh-leeyong-573a0766/I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you BE GRATEFUL AND ENJOY YOUR MONEY.

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