We all have a purpose in life, and we’re all perfectly capable of fulfilling that purpose. But there might be some hindrances that keep us from tapping into our potential. When you ignore these barriers and believe you'll never be able to conquer them, you're robbing yourself of the chance to grow and live the life you deserve. In the second episode of Returning Home, Elise talks about her journey in becoming sober and the lessons she learned from it. She shares the effects of alcohol on her body, mind, relationships, and spirituality. She also reveals how sobriety helped her push past the barriers that kept her from connecting to herself, others, and her purpose. If you want to set yourself free by becoming sober and facing yourself more honestly, then this episode on sobriety is for you. Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode: Learn about the harmful effects of alcohol in four aspects. Discover how sobriety can empower you and set you on the path towards the life you deserve. Find out how you can get started on your own mindfulness journey. Resources Sign up for Elise’s Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey! Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya Episode Highlights [01:08] Elise’s Journey to Becoming Sober In 2018 or 2019, Elise began meeting people who identified as sober and initially thought she could never be like them. Realizing the lessons in sobriety were things she needed to learn, she made the decision to become sober. While she doesn’t participate in activities within the sobriety community such as meetings, she believes that “sober” and “awake” are interchangeable terms. Sobriety helps you steer clear of things that make you numb and disconnected. [02:10] Making a Conscious Choice Alcohol was taking Elise away from being who she wanted to be and made her unrecognizable to herself. But, not being sober might apply differently to others. It could be overindulging in sweets, shopping too much, spending too much time in front of their screens, and other avoidant behaviors. Elise: “The important part, I think, when we talk about being sober or waking up is that you get honest with yourself about where you are and where you might be overdoing something in order to avoid important things in your life.” Ask yourself how you want to spend your time and if you’re okay with the results of the things you choose to do. Once you’ve answered these questions, you can make the conscious choice to get rid of it fully or do it in moderation. [03:30] The Biopsychosocial Spiritual Approach For some people, drinking isn’t really a problem but there might be other barriers holding you back from being who you want to be. “Waking up” has meant becoming sober for Elise. Social workers approach things using the biopsychosocial spiritual approach, which Elise uses to frame her understanding of the healing process. And so, she will tackle sobriety on how it affects four different parts: body, mind, community, and spirit. [04:47] How Alcohol Harmed Her Body Keeping alcohol in her life kept her in a “fight, flight, or freeze” state. With her sympathetic nervous system being constantly activated, she was unable to relax. It affected her nervous and digestive systems. She realized that alcohol was doing harm to her body and that she didn’t want to constantly find herself back at square one in an uphill battle. [06:35] Partnering with Her Body Elise began consciously thinking about what she could put into her body that will help it rather than hurt it. While she has come to a number of realizations while quitting drinking, such as her struggle with body image, she’s ready to go on this journey to heal those issues. She loves being able to partner with her body and become closer to it after she stopped drinking. While she still struggles with ingesting sweets, she’s able to look at herself and these patterns with awareness and thus make healthier choices. [08:07] The Effects of Alcohol on Her Mind Alcohol completely disconnected her from her mind. When she drinks, she tends to lash out at people and make stupid decisions that spirals her into regret, self-hatred, and doubt. She realized that some of those issues that she felt ashamed about, such as fighting with others, were blown out of proportion in her mind. [10:14] The Effects of Sobriety on Her Mind Sobriety helped give her perspective and stop beating herself up. When she looks back on certain events, she is finally able to feel proud of how she carried herself and treated other people. The inner critic is still present, but not as severe as before. She was emboldened by sobriety, taking responsibility for her own actions and accomplishing her dream of starting her own business. She realized that some of those issues were blown out of proportion in her mind. [11:29] Sobriety and Dreams Since becoming sober, she would get nightmares where she was drinking but then wake up relieved that it never happened. She’s dreamed about things that happened in the past as well, but this time, she is in the right headspace to filter them and forgive herself rather than feel shame. Elise: “What’s coming is going. Because it’s coming up, I can filter it out. I can forgive myself for it. I’m not drinking to forget these things anymore. And I’m able to remember, so I can filter out what no longer serves me...” We are all connected and healing happens at different levels. [13:28] How Alcohol Alienates Drinking alienated Elise from herself, turning her into a different person. One of her friends recalls being able to see the change in her face when she had drunk too much, and Elise hated to think how much she hurt her friends. Listen to the full episode to hear the story of how drinking on New Year’s Eve in 2019 on her partner’s birthday made her decide to stop drinking. [17:23] How Sobriety Connects You to Others On January 1, 2020, she reached out to sober friends and asked for advice. She realized she was capable of being with other people sober, something she thought was impossible before, and that excited her. Being able to connect with other people while sober made her realize that was the kind of community building she wanted to do. [19:25] Sobriety and Spirituality Living awake is the biggest lesson. She wants to be awake and while she does numb out to cope occasionally, she has realized that drinking stops her from raising her consciousness. In 2018, after becoming sober, she started her mindfulness journey. [21:12] Connecting to Her Higher Self After becoming sober, Elise felt more connected and awake, thus more open to receiving spiritual teachings and lessons. She’s also able to see herself within the larger universal oneness, the greater whole of which we’re all small parts. Elise: “There is this collective unconscious, we are all smaller parts of a greater whole, and I want to be connected to that whole. So not drinking keeps me aligned with that desire.” With that newfound connection, she was able to serve her clients in her therapy practice at a higher level. She’s also opening up to more coaching and taking inspired action, thus serving her mission and connecting to her spiritual identity. [23:23] Elise’s Mission She wonders what our missions are as individuals. For Elise, she finds it important to be connected with her mission, her purpose, and her spiritual identity. Thanks to sobriety, she was finally able to connect with nature and the world. Quitting alcohol is always difficult at first, but she knows that she can go the rest of her life without drinking now that she’s almost two years clean. She already drank enough alcohol to last her a lifetime, so she doesn’t feel like she’s missing out and decided it’s enough. [25:34] Elise’s Awakening Journey There is so much more to gain without alcohol. Elise is aware that she has so much life and untapped potential, and not drinking will bring her closer to those goals. It will be different for everyone, but we all have the ability to tap into our potential. Being happy and taking care of yourself helps inspire and uplift others, raising their consciousness and helping them live the way they deserve. Elise: “... by me being happy and me taking care of myself, it actually inspires other people and I can help lift those people up around me. Like it’s, we’re meant to do this thing, right? It’s our birthright to live in a way that is healthiest and best for us...” Enjoyed this Episode? If you enjoyed this podcast on sobriety and pushing past the barriers to connecting with yourself and others, please make sure to subscribe and share it! Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.  Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].  Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

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