Book a coaching session with me: calendly.com
Where I live, there are several mink farms nearby.  Now, I wouldn’t say I’m overly sensitive to foul smells.  And I kind of even like the smell of regular farms. Farm smell brings up nostalgia and child-like joy.  But mink farm smell, that’s something completely different.  I can’t explain it other than, just trust me, it’s an awful rotten smell.  Especially when you’re exactly downwind of the mink farm.  Luckily, I don’t actually live downwind from the mink farm, but the gym that I go to is.  One morning we were running and the smell outside literally made me gag several times. As I was running and trying not to breathe (not a good combo) and also wondering how in the world the smell can possibly be as bad as it is and honestly, complaining in my mind, and I didn’t like how the complaining made me feel, and it certainly didn’t make the smell go away, so I decided to create a new thought, one that would be more helpful for me to not hate the mink farm so much at that moment. .
The thought that came to me was: This mink farm is how someone is making their living and providing for their family, and probably several employees.
This is someone’s livelihood.
And while the smell was still rank awful, that thought helped me to not be further bothered.
I shifted my perspective.
At first, I was focused on my own discomfort.
The smell was an obstacle to my comfort.
But when I shifted to thinking about the mink farm as someone’s business and livelihood, it made it more real and permissible in my mind.
The mink farm, and it’s smell suddenly had a story and a purpose. True, it’s purpose is not my purpose, but a purpose nonetheless and one that I could respect for someone else.
Everyone needs a livelihood, and this mink farm is someone's livelihood.
This shift in perspective did not lessen the actual smell, but it did ease my discomfort and more specifically raised my tolerance for it because I decided that someone must love this farm.  Someone else is grateful for this farm.
It’s amazing how seeing something differently changes everything.
This is one thing I find amazing about our brains.  We’re constantly telling ourselves a story subconsciously.  We often don’t even recognize that all the chatter in our brain is a story.  But it is.
An easy way to gain perspective and shift from judgment to grace or compassion or empathy, is to tap into your own powerful brain and tell yourself a conscious story.  It can be as simple as - this mink farm is someone’s livelihood, they’ve had it in their family for 100 years and they enjoy keeping it up.   Suddenly the stench of the mink farm isn’t about me, it’s about someone else and it’s something that i can be happy for them.
So here’s your homework for this week, when you find yourself bothered by something, try giving it a helpful story to shift your perspective from YOU centered, to They focused.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
Be watchful, and stay curious.

Ver todos los episodios