Look in the mirror. Do you see someone who loves BBQ more than showering? Do you see someone wearing a wool cap and jacket just to keep warm while working in the datacenter? Can you say the word "No!" to a stakeholder? Do you know how many seconds there are in 1 day? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there's a good chance that you are a performance tester. In this episode we explore the performance personality in the style of comedian Jeff Foxworthy. We chat also chat about Art Bell's underwater pyramids, supercomputers in Japan, bitcoins encrypted by drug dealers, the lessons learned (or not) by Healthcare.gov and of course the News of the Damned wouldn't be complete without a repeat crash of an event ticket website in the UK.

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