We start with Sgt. Rock, but quickly form Sgt. Rock’s Lonely Hearts Club Band!Then we wander into:Conan the BarbarianRed Sonja (with a J, not a Y)Robert E. Howard timelinesL. Sprague de Camp gap-fillingAnd the Conan–Elric crossover that made Michael Moorcock’s calendar cry!From there:Charlton backupsGravedigger with the X-scarIce Cream Soldier’s first snowAnd the Easy Company roster of Wild Man, Bulldozer, Little Sure Shot, Four Eyes, and Pinky Pinkerton!Then it’s “Can you smell what Sgt. The Rock Johnson is cooking?” before pivoting to Reign of the Supermen, the Birthing Matrix, and Bill Clinton endorsing the villain!Nick Fury’s Howling Commandos march in with Dum Dum Dugan’s mustache, David Niven as Pinky, and Guns of Navarone trivia! Blackhawks fight with flying sharks! Enemy Ace gets the high ground! Airboy flaps in! Hop Harrigan maybe beats Superman to movie serials, and Kelly’s Heroes outfox the Nazis!By the end, we’ve invented Crisis of Infinite Wars, crossed over G.I. Robot and Creature Commandos, and somehow landed on Herbie the Fat Fury!

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