1. Take full ownership and responsibility for your every thought, word, action, and reaction.
Otherwise in the face of disagreeable behaviors in others or unpleasant circumstances, you are saying — and here fill in the pause in my voice with a person or circumstance —
“I am blaming __________ for my reaction to __________.”
Consider how delusional that sounds. It could serve as a definition for the word “irony” or “scapegoating.” Yet something like that is at the heart of virtually every irresponsible way of dealing with life’s difficulties.
It is true that sudden trauma can overwhelm us and instantly bring on mental or emotional pain or fear or anxiety. However, to the extent that we maintain a responsible perspective, we know that our inner upheaval can be kept to a momentary, dark interval. And we know that following that initial turbulence, we are still responsible for what effect we allow that distress to have on us.
Responsible people refuse to allow their inner life to be warped by weaknesses in others or circumstances they’d gladly wish away. They know that what does the warping is never those people or those circumstances. It comes from reacting poorly to them — with anger, fear, frustration, impatience, harshness, sarcasm, ridicule, contempt, unforgiveness, bitterness, discouragement, rejection.
No matter how ugly circumstances or people around us get, they have no inherent power to keep from us the peace and joy of the Holy Spirit.
2. Keep practicing what it takes to safeguard the Holy Spirit’s gifts of peace and joy.
Develop an internal momentum of constantly reflecting on (1) God’s steadfast, unfailing help and (2) his faithfulness in keeping his promises.
Isaiah 41:10 (NET) “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you—yes, I help you—yes, I uphold you with my victorious right hand!” [The “right hand” is a symbol of the Lord’s power to deliver and protect.]
Hebrews 10:23 (NIV) — “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”
Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV) “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
3. Deepen your willingness to be constantly guided by God.
Frequently recollect the truth that he would never guide you to think, say, or do anything that is not ultimately the best, wisest, and most satisfying way forward.
Strengthening our willingness to listen is key because our ability to hear from the him is dependent upon our willingness to do what pleases him.
Someone who had a Near Death Experience returned from the other side with this insight: willingness to do and ability to hear are the same thing.
Routinely think long and hard on these three words: “God knows best.”
And pray,
“Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and provide me with a spirit of willing obedience.” Psalms 51:12 (GW)

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