We often talk about being a better person or a better parent. But what does that look like as a father or mother? You can’t just say I want to be a better person or parent without thinking about what being a better person or parent means. You need direction. That is when your values come into play.
Values are the beliefs and principles you consider essential in how you live, work, and play. They determine your priorities and guide your and your youngster's decisions in how you live and act toward others.
Imagine values as the North Star in the sky. Like the North Star guides travellers on their journey, your values provide direction and guidance for you and your family in life's adventures. Values help you stay on course, even when the path ahead seems uncertain, guiding you and your family toward what truly matters.
As parents, we struggle with guilt about balancing our home life with our work and relationships. Due to guilt, we say yes more times than we say no, which compounds our stress.
However, this stress can work in our favour. Stress causes us to take a step back, either through exhaustion or illness, to reflect on what is important to us.
Crafting your family values is like building a unique puzzle together. Instead of puzzle pieces, you're piecing together traits like kindness, respect, and responsibility. Each value fits snugly into place, creating a beautiful picture of who your family is and what you stand for. Like putting together a puzzle, it takes patience, teamwork, and a clear vision of the bigger picture to create something remarkable.
Here's how you can do it:
Family Brainstorming: Gather everyone together for a fun chat. Ask questions like, "What's important to us as a family?" or "What makes us proud?" Write down everyone's ideas, then see if you can spot common themes.
Discuss and Decide: Once you've got a list of ideas, it's time to chat about them. Explain why each value is significant and how it can help your family. Then, as a team, choose the top values you want to focus on.
Make a Family Values Poster: Get creative! Draw or write out your chosen values on a big poster and decorate it together. Hang it somewhere you'll see it every day, like the fridge or a family notice board.
Deciding your family values is more than a one-time event. It might take several family brainstorming sessions to resolve. Also, your values change over time as you experience life.
For example, When you have young children, your family values may revolve around creating a nurturing and supportive environment that fosters growth and development. Such as:
Patience: Understanding that your children are learning and growing, parents need to value patience in guiding them through various stages of development.
Unconditional Love: As parents, it is crucial to love your children unconditionally, to love and accept them exactly as they are in the moment, and to remember that you are unhappy with their behaviour, not them.
Consistency: Establishing routines and boundaries helps young children feel secure, especially when establishing morning and bedtime routines. Consistency is key. It builds your children’s self-worth and helps them through their teenage years. Also, it is essential to be consistent with your expectations and discipline.
Responsibility: It is essential to teach children about responsibility and accountability through age-appropriate tasks and chores, instilling the values of hard work and contribution.
Empathy: Parents strive to teach empathy by modelling understanding and compassion towards others. Empathy helps your children develop emotional intelligence, which I discussed in last week's episode.
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