Michel de Montaigne’s thoughts on friendship

16/10/2025 6 min Episodio 227

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Episode Synopsis

Inflation in usage has devalued the word “friend.” In today’s parlance, “friend” doesn’t even mean acquaintance. People call “friends” individuals they have never met and with whom they have little in common. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) wrote extensively about friendship, which he rightly viewed as one of the greatest joys in life. His essay “On friendship” is known to students of the French language because of its high literary and philosophical value. However, I must first of all state that Montaigne employed the term “friend” carefully and sparingly. He did not call mere acquaintances “friends” because, in his youth, he had already figured out that friendship requires shared values and interests. Montaigne defined friendship as a process that is initially spontaneous, but then takes deep roots over time. He regarded friendship as a process because its two essential components, trust and mutual admiration, need to be developed over time. Ethics plays a key role in friendship, argued Montaigne, due to the need for friends to hold common values. I am of course referring to positive values such as honesty, justice, ambition, and rationality. In the absence of ethical values, people may associate for a while to accomplish a particular goal, but they’ll quickly split as soon as the goal has been achieved. The same principle applies to commercial and professional relations. They can be cordial and pleasant, but in the absence of shared moral values, they are bound to remain superficial. Montaigne acknowledged the benefits of trade, politeness, and cordiality, but regarded those as lubricants that make social interactions more efficient; the smile of the merchant can make transactions easier, but should not be necessarily trusted upon. Here is the link to the original article: https://johnvespasian.com/michel-de-montaignes-thoughts-on-friendship/