Hey there! Welcome to Imperfectly Pollyanna. A podcast where we have real and honest talk while finding the positive in the imperfections. I am your host, Courtney, and I am SO glad you are here!I plan to chat about homeschool life here on the podcast. However, I felt to get a good feel for who I am and what led me to where I am today…well, we need to go back. Back to how I became a mom and the up and downs that came with it. As I intend to do every episode, no matter where the road leads, we will always end up finding the good. Back in 2005, my husband and I started trying to conceive. A year later, I was diagnosed with infertility, among other things, and we started fertility treatments. 3 years passed and after an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions, doctor’s visits, medications, physical repercussions, and tests, we were blessed with the phone call we’d been praying for: “Congratulations, you’re pregnant.” I can still recall the excitement on my husbands face as he opened the card I had to let him know he was going to be a daddy! It. Was. Awesome. A few months later, we were on a family reunion trip in Florida and I began spotting. At Disney of all places. On the flight home, I knew my pregnancy was over. I will spare you the details of what happened once it was confirmed but suffice it to say that those images haunt me to this day. I was so angry. How could God…the God of love, grace, mercy…the God who gave children to the baren, even raised people from the dead…how could He allow THIS to happen?! Had I really been that awful to deserve this?!Looking back, I think of that broken girl and wish I could tell her so many things. I knew God could handle my emotions back then but I couldn’t see past the pain to even attempt and find the good. The thing was…I didn’t know that there was a plan. It’s always a “big picture” even when we can only see one scene at a time.This is a story of heartbreak, loss, anger and blessing. It took me several years to work my way out of the darkness I was in but I will always be reminded that there can be purpose from pain. I don’t know where you’re at in your life today. Maybe you have questioned similar things. Like, if God is so great, why would he allow horrible things to happen to people? Why can’t he just wave a hand across the earth and make it all better? Make the chaos stop? Goodness, if 2020 showed us anything, it was how badly people are hurting.I don’t know all the answers. But I do know this. The trials you and I face are not new to God. He has seen it all. God’s love never fails. Never gives up. He offers healing. When you are in the middle of a struggle, and you wonder what the point is, why you are suffering…hear me now when I tell you on the other side  is a God who is still good. Who loves you through it all. When you can’t breathe from trying to simply tread water, reach out to Him. He’s got you. He sees the bigger picture. He can handle the heavy. The questions. The emotions. Maybe you and I haven’t been through the same things. Even if we have, we would still have different emotions, thoughts, feelings because we are each different. That being said, there is NO pain, NO circumstance in which God would forget you. See, the thing with being a “Pollyanna” doesn’t mean you live in a naïve world. It is BECAUSE of reality that I search for the good in all things. It may be something as simple as being grateful for a nice warm cup of coffee in the morning. It could be a quick text from a friend. It may be when dealing with a death you see that your loved one no longer has to deal with the crisis in current events. Even my inability to imagine being able to homeschool, and falling short of my own expectations, has found me to be GLAD that in today’s world, I am blessed to be raising and educating my children at home. I have a question for you…are you someone who naturally finds the good in every situation? Or are you struggling to really see anything positive in a world that is full of negativity? Or then again, maybe you are somewhere in between. Something that has helped me, and I would suggest trying to see if it works for you as well is gratitude journaling. Your world won’t become perfect, but you’ll begin to see the good in the imperfections and THAT is what it means to play the Glad Game! If you decide to try it out, let me know how it goes!I’d love to connect so make sure to subscribe and then send me a quick hello over to imperfectlypollyanna.com! 
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