Alvaro de Vicente on Parental Expectations: Being Both Perfect and Anxious for Nothing

09/10/2025 1h 0min
Alvaro de Vicente on Parental Expectations: Being Both Perfect and Anxious for Nothing

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Episode Synopsis

"Be perfect" (Matt. 5:48) and "anxious for nothing" (Phil 4:6). This tall order from the New Testament may put modern parents into a cold sweat. Parental perfectionism and anxiety are surely on the rise, but in his annual Headmaster's Lecture at The Heights School, Alvaro de Vicente talks us down. He shows us the compatibility and wisdom of these two Biblical encouragements by refocusing on the process of growth—moral, academic, athletic, and spiritual—over simply the apparent results. Chapters: 2:41 Introduction: being "good enough" 8:15 A new way to see perfection 10:07 Context changes our expectations 17:34 Setting reasonable expectations 24:46 Acknowledging our son's freedom 29:28 Parental anxiety: danger ÷ opportunity 36:54 Surrounded by goodness, a twitch upon the thread 40:53 Perseverance through hard times 47:42 Addressing real problems 53:15 Ultimately, in God's hands Links: Men in the Making, Alvaro de Vicente's Substack Loss of the Creature by Walker Percy Gilead by Marilynne Robinson Minority Report (2002) The Innocence of Father Brown by G. K. Chesterton Peace Like a River by Leif Enger Also on the Forum: Failure Is a Great Tutor—Don't Fire Him by Alvaro de Vicente Having Better Mentoring Conversations by Alvaro de Vicente Featured Opportunities: Fall Open House at The Heights School (October 18, 2025) Fathers' Conference at The Heights School (November 1, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

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