Eons ago, somewhere along our long evolutionary line, a creature had sense enough to get out of the ocean. The terrifying depths hold every manner of horrible nightmare: frigid currents, clouded darkness, and flesh-eating monsters both tiny and colossal. Land is a much more peaceful place. And now, in our gratitude to our scaly ancestors, we pay homage to their moist beginnings annually, with a day on the border between land and sea. We shed our clothing and face the terrors that our forefishes faced that day. Sand and sun, salt and silt, and the terrifying feel of murky seaweed touching our toes. Slather on some SPF and join Mat and Veronique as we expose ourselves to the elemental fury of The Beach.



*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.



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