All of humanity has one fundamental commonality, one critical similarity that both binds us as single species and also uniquely individualizes us… We are born. Every single one of us goes through the arduous ordeal, but the date of our birth distinguishes us. For millennia, we have looked to the stars to dictate the constellations that define us, our birth year might align with a mascot or a dragon, hospitals use the date as a form of identification. And so, instead of celebrating our commonality together, we opted to each celebrate in their own way. But now it is my birthday! So the random waiter at this restaurant had better be giving me special treatment today!



As the social-media-influencer entitlement plague spreads across the land, celebrants are expecting the world to cater their birthday-month. Let’s hide behind the couch with Veronique and Mat as we prepare for the surprise absence of Birthday Freebies!



*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.



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