The most stretched-out gameweek in recent memory has bored us to the point of making Starting XIs consisting of animals. Yes, that’s right—Jacob and Jiayang spend about 20 minutes putting together the perfect Animal XI. And to be honest, we don’t see anyone getting past this team—the footballing world should be grateful it doesn’t actually exist, because it would no doubt walk the Champions League every year. With the great white shark leading the line and the kangaroo marshaling the defense … goosebumps. Don’t worry, we do also talk about FPL-related matters: the main topics in this episode are the legitimacy of KDB as an FPL option and the state of the forward position. Though the main event, of course, is the Animal XI. The things I would pay to see a Hawk flying at Zinchenko …

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