Why Resolutions Don’t StickEvery year, millions of people set New Year’s resolutions — and by mid-January, most of them feel frustrated, discouraged, or convinced they’ve failed. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down why resolutions so often fall apart, why it’s not a personal flaw, and what actually works if you want real, lasting change.This conversation is about releasing shame, understanding how your brain and nervous system work, and building habits that support who you’re becoming — not punishing yourself into change.In this episode, we talk about:Why most resolutions fail by designHow going “too big, too fast” overwhelms your nervous systemThe difference between goals driven by shame vs. excitementWhy motivation doesn’t come first — action doesHow identity-based habits outperform willpowerWhy systems matter more than motivationHow overwhelm leads to avoidance and freeze modeWhy rest and flexibility are part of consistencyWhy resolutions usually don’t work:They’re too vague (“get healthy,” “be better,” “lose weight”)They’re rooted in self-criticism instead of careThey rely on motivation instead of systemsThey ignore real life stress, illness, and bad daysThey don’t account for who you actually areWhat actually works instead:Start smaller than feels necessaryTiny, achievable actions build momentum. Big goals still matter — but they must be broken into bite-sized steps your brain can handle.Create systems, not rulesMotivation fades. Systems stay. Decide how you’ll show up on hard days, not just what you’ll do on perfect ones.Build identity-based habitsInstead of “I need to work out,” try:“I’m someone who moves every day”“I’m someone who shows up, even imperfectly”Know yourself honestlySome people need accountability. Others don’t. There’s no shame — just strategy.Plan for real lifeHave a Plan B for sick days, stressful weeks, and low-energy moments. Missing one day doesn’t break a habit — quitting does.Action creates motivationDon’t wait to feel inspired. Do the smallest version of the habit — motivation will follow.Helpful reframes we love:Change driven by shame rarely survives stressOverwhelm triggers avoidancePausing does not erase progress

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