You Know All About MePsalm 139:5 TPTYou’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness You follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.What a powerful verse! I have a very hard time taking this thought completely in. How does this loving Father go into my future and prepare His way, His plans for me, and yet in His gentle kindness follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past?! Often when I look back over my childhood, I get a remembrance of myself as a little girl with bouncy, blonde donut curls, wearing a little navy-blue jacket and matching navy-blue skirt, with a prim little white blouse underneath the jacket, standing at a sacred altar in a tiny country church in Exeter, Maine. This is my first memory of me, a young, single digit little girl experiencing and aware of the Presence of the living God. I don’t know what brought me to such a young awareness of Him, other than the thought that my dad was dying with Lou Gehrig’s disease in my fourth and fifth years of life. I somehow occasionally can feel from this memory, hot tears cascading down my child cheeks, finding a path of release as they rolled down, unstoppable. I lived and daily saw my dad suffering, seemingly pasted to a wheelchair. My Mom taught me at this young age, how to blink his eyes and move his hands, arms and feet to keep the blood flowing, seemingly normally. One funny memory I’ve remembered with a smile, is that my mom sat my dad out on the lawn in his chair; it was my job to watch over him as best I could. Somehow, the wheelchair brake was not pressed down in brake position, and Dad went careening down across the sloped lawn. like a runaway western stagecoach. It wasn’t a long distance, but a bit of a ride, nonetheless. I ran after him as fast as my little legs could go! Upon slowly coming to a stop, I quickly started scouting him out, perusing his helpless body as best I could; upon checking his face, there was a merry glimmer in his beautiful brown eyes. He had enjoyed the ride and the rise it had gotten out of my mom and me.  At first remembrance of this occurrence in my childhood, there had been days of a simple mourning of what could have been, what should have been with my Dad. Yet as God has loved me through this memory and many others, Abba “following behind me to spare me form the harm of my past,” He has helped me reframe portraits of pain, even though I have been seasoned with a great lack of skill and wisdom to know how to heal. Abba has poured in the wine and the oil into my soul, cleansing, healing and making me into the daughter He has intended me to become. Yes, our Father goes ahead of us and carefully and thoughtfully prepares His way for His own, yet still follows us from behind knowing, remembering and diligently watching out that His healing power over sad and hurtful memories have healing salve applied. Yes, there are scars, yet they are not full of deadly poison to embitter us into ugly defeat, deep sorrow, and ongoing pain. He has put a song in my heart that vibrates with His great love and care for me, yes, little ole me, from my youngest memories to my elder years. What a good, good Father He is to me!What memories does God want to heal as He’s coming up behind you? Will you allow Him, yield to Him today? I pray that you will. He has not only good for your life, but “best.” Trust Him today.     

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