From “Having It All” to Feeling It All

27/12/2025 39 min

Listen "From “Having It All” to Feeling It All"

Episode Synopsis

For most of her adult life, Marlou Kamphuis looked like she had it all - a vibrant social life, a successful career, travel, relationships, and an enviable, “Instagram-able” life from the outside.But beneath the surface, she was disconnected from her emotions, deeply afraid of being alone, and unknowingly driven by beliefs formed long before she could name them.In this episode of Deprogram Diaries, Marlou and I sit down to unpack her six-year journey with inner growth work, meditation, and emotional healing - including the moment her life cracked open after heartbreak, a diagnosis of severe depression, and a pivotal two-week intervention that changed everything.We go deep into:What it’s like to appear confident and successful while feeling emotionally disconnected insideHow emotional neglect can exist even in “good” childhoodsThe roots of love addiction, external validation, and fear of being aloneWhy suppressing emotions keeps patterns alive — and how learning to feel changes themHow unprocessed pain fueled relationship dynamics, imposter syndrome, and over-proving at workThe emotional processing work that helped her heal heartbreak without medicationWhat self-love actually looks like when it’s embodied — not conceptualHow changing your internal world naturally reshapes your relationships, career, and sense of safetyThis is a raw, compassionate conversation about learning to sit with pain instead of running from it - and how doing so creates real freedom, intimacy, and trust in yourself.If you’ve ever felt successful on the outside but empty, anxious, or dependent on others for a sense of safety… if you’ve struggled with relationships, self-worth, or imposter syndrome despite “doing all the work”… this episode will land.If you’d like to explore this work more deeply, you can learn about Deprogram Level One here:⁠⁠https://www.deprogram.co/deprogram-level-oneFollow us on Instagram for updates on upcoming programs, workshops, and free tools: https://www.instagram.com/deprogram.co