💊 What happens when red pill advice "works"? John thought he'd found the cheat code to dating when his nerdy high school friend got a girlfriend using pickup artist tactics. But after years of grinding bars and clubs, he discovered the hidden costs of building relationships on a foundation of masks 🎭👨‍💻 In this episode, a 40-something programmer shares his journey from socially isolated nerd to pickup artist practitioner to married father, and the unexpected ways those dating experiences still affect his relationships today. John also opens up about performance anxiety, avoidant attachment, and the challenge of taking off the masks he's worn for so long 👺🥷 We explore the darker side of the pickup artist and red pill communities: the confidence that's really avoidance, the "success" that leads to deeper insecurity, and why pretending to be someone else can make it impossible to believe anyone could love the real you 😰 John's story reveals how the very techniques designed to help socially awkward nerds connect actually prevented him from forming the deep, trusting relationships he was seeking.🛑 But this isn't just a cautionary tale. John also shares what he's learned through therapy about attachment theory, the importance of authentic friendship-first connections, and why the journey to genuine intimacy is worth the work. Even if you're approaching 50 and still figuring it out! 👴👯‍♀️ If you've ever been tempted by pickup artist or red pill advice, wondered why mainstream dating tips don't work for nerds like you, or struggled with feeling like you have to perform to be loved, John's honest reflection offers both validation and hope.🎧 Press Start to discover why leveling up your game may not be worth the grind! 💪👾 FREE GUIDE: WHERE NERDS REALLY MEET THEIR PLAYER 2 🕹️Based on real-world nerd data. Download it at https://datelikeanerd.com/reality📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.datelikeanerd.com/discordRelated Episodes:Rejected, Friendzoned, and Not Reading the SignalsPhysical Escalation from Friends to Lovers: the Nerd Love Story of Jose and JulianGamify Your Dating AnxietyThe Nice Guy vs the Kind Man, with AprilDating In The Tolkien Association, with JoseHow to Make Nerd Friends, with Pete “Belmont”Timestamps for lazy nerds:00:00:00 Intro00:02:22 What Makes "John" A Nerd00:05:42 Dating On The Spectrum00:10:31 Intro To The Pickup Artist Scene00:14:53 Becoming Someone Else00:19:51 Introverts Do Find Love00:23:19 Dating Success But Performance Anxiety00:29:32 The Source Of Insecurity00:35:58 Marriage Problems00:41:18 Fake It Till You Make It00:46:14 Becoming Confident00:52:51 The Real Red Pill01:01:15 Closing#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast #pickupartist #redpillContact:[email protected] or@datelikeanerd on social media

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