Listen "Reeling"
Episode Synopsis
Figs is sent reeling when a session on repair goes in an unexpected direction when Teale tries to connect deeply. Explore the ways preconceptions shake up natural processes as Figs and Teale challenge the idea that there's a "right" way to be vulnerable.Timestamps:01:06 Introduction01:56 Figs' Irish ways07:03 Preview of session — "Are we ready to stop being in your head, Figs?"08:03 The Emotional Withdrawer's struggle to describe their internal world09:41 Healing empathy from Teale and the therapist11:35 Understanding the Emotional Withdrawer12:12 Teale's realization, "And it's happening right now"15:07 Session begins — Figs' rate of repair17:59 "You're so good at coming out." "Even when you don't fish him out." "No."19:05 Teale has trouble tolerating disconnection22:32 Figs feels trapped in having to repair — being "reeled in" — before he's ready24:15 Teale's will feels overpowering to Figs, he wants to collapse30:06 Process question — too cognitive?32:13 Figs receives the message, "My way of processing is not right"34:24 Teale was trying to be "good"36:42 Figs is overwhelmed, feels like they can't get any one thing done45:04 Teale reflects Figs' feelings and acknowledges her own triggers46:19 Figs feels Teale is more trigger-able in session49:32 Figs describes being unhappy, "and it's not acceptable"50:47 Staying with the negative feelings53:27 Figs' feelings were shut down, triggered feelings of "Too much"-ness55:52 Figs was able to let in Teale and the therapist59:20 Session ends59:38 Teale learned a lot about herself as a critic and Figs' shame01:02:10 Finding the deep sadness beneath the surface01:04:10 Teale and the therapist's empathy gave Figs the space he needed01:07:54 French movie vs American movie analogy01:09:12 "You don't have to get it right the first time"01:09:48 Next week's episodeVisit comeheretomepodcast.com for episode transcripts, social media links, and to subscribe to the mailing list.
If you or someone you love are struggling in your relationship, visit empathi.com for the relationship quiz, courses, and therapy consultations.
If you or someone you love are struggling in your relationship, visit empathi.com for the relationship quiz, courses, and therapy consultations.
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