Angela and Hadassah dive into adoptee secrecy, shame and identity, the power (and pitfalls) of the story we tell ourselves, and how to move from rumination to repair. Hadassah explains her “tell the true story, then heal it” approach, why secrecy fuels shame, how to prepare emotionally before a search/reunion, and what open vs. closed adoption looks like in practice. Angela shares her family’s embryo-adoption path, the complexities of medical history and openness, and the importance of telling children their story early and often.Takeaways:Story vs. facts: Many of us “add” to our stories over time. Separate facts from interpretations, then write a new, healing script. (≈ 02:00–05:29)Ruminating keeps us stuck: Getting the story out is essential—but staying in it reinforces a victim identity. (≈ 02:00–03:27)Identity & genetic mirroring: Not seeing yourself reflected in family can complicate identity formation for adoptees. (≈ 16:53–18:39)Secrecy → shame: Closed records (e.g., the “Adoption-Sealed” era) deprive adoptees of agency and health info; reforms are improving access in some states. (≈ 07:34–09:35)Reunion readiness: Do inner work first; not everyone who’s found wants contact. Decide boundaries before you engage. (≈ 09:35–12:42)Tell kids early: Delayed disclosure can trigger profound identity rupture and betrayal. (≈ 18:39–20:38)Embryo adoption nuances: Gestational bonding matters; carrying a child can lessen certain layers of early separation trauma, while genetic disconnection still brings questions. (≈ 25:08–27:25)Forgiveness: It’s multi-directional—birth parents, systems, self. (≈ 05:29–07:34)How to work with Hadassah on her ⁠website⁠On ⁠Instagram⁠ & ⁠Facebook⁠Through her Adoptee-focused journal with guided prompts (available on ⁠Amazon⁠)

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