Forget resolutions that are broken in 90 minutes. Try to focus on the good things that you do and that happen to you.

Try a personal journal. You don’t have to be compulsive, but keep it handy, electronically or physically, to easily record things. These may be good acts done for you by others or good acts you perform, especially spontaneously and “in the moment.” Record experiences that were unplanned yet rewarding: a deer staring at you from the woods, a quick-reflex escape from someone else’s driving error, a baby smiling at you on a plane.

We tend to default to the negative: what didn’t work, what disappointed us, what we did to disappoint others. Reverse that, and make note of the positives and the emotionally rewarding. Have you worked out without missing a session for 90 days; have you refrained from entering into a senseless argument with a family member; have you thanked someone seldom thanked who was appreciative of your recognition?

Every so often, you can review your journal, not necessarily reread it all, but randomly choose some pages to remind yourself of the rewards in your life and the kindnesses you bring to others.

We need to escape our “doom loop” mindsets and the normative pressures that attempt to make us feel guilty and unworthy. While it’s important to rely on others, it’s also important to rely on ourselves, and our recall isn’t always sufficiently complete or accurate. 

Did you throw your first snowball of the season, call a friend you haven’t spoken to in quite a while, or leave social media platforms that are simply irritating and unfulfilling?

What did you do for your family, your business, your community, and yourself?

Some people might call this a journal of gratitude, but I prefer a journal of reality and accomplishment. Life is not a slow crawl through enemy territory nor a random walk in the dark. It’s a thoughtful journey in what light we have.

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