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Listen "The feedback trap. When Criticism is Really Bias."
Episode Synopsis
We’ve all heard it: “You’re too controlling.” “You should smile more.” “Maybe if you weren’t so emotional…”
But here’s the truth: not all feedback is created equal. And far too often, what women receive isn’t feedback at all. It’s bias dressed up as “constructive criticism.”
In this episode, we’re tackling a common but often invisible challenge in professional and personal life: feedback that masquerades as growth but is actually bias. We explore how women frequently receive critiques that focus on personality, style, or likability rather than skills or outcomes. Feedback that can drain energy, reinforce double standards, and perpetuate gender bias.
Finally, I share strategies for reframing and resisting biased feedback, so you can protect your confidence and focus on growth that truly matters. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working twice as hard to fix things that were never broken, this episode is for you.
Key Topics Covered:
Feedback vs. bias: How to tell the difference
Competence vs. likability: The damned-if-you-do, doomed-if-you-don’t bind
Joan Williams’ prove-it-again bias and its impact on women’s careers
Vocal fry, uptalk, and other examples of style policing as bias
Practical strategies: reframing biased feedback and pushing back with questions
Manifestatement (Key Takeaway): Biased feedback is not your personal deficit. You are neither broken, nor defective. By reframing and resisting, we reclaim our power, keep the focus on outcomes, and push toward greater equity.
Resources & References:
Williams, J. C., & Dempsey, R. (2014). What works for women at work: Four patterns working women need to know. New York University Press.
Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episode:
Tone Policing, Vocal Fry, & Upspeak (4/7/22) https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565
TikTok trend example (Is a “top-tier” man just an average woman?) https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17XnA2v6E3/
Let’s Connect:
Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en
Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/
But here’s the truth: not all feedback is created equal. And far too often, what women receive isn’t feedback at all. It’s bias dressed up as “constructive criticism.”
In this episode, we’re tackling a common but often invisible challenge in professional and personal life: feedback that masquerades as growth but is actually bias. We explore how women frequently receive critiques that focus on personality, style, or likability rather than skills or outcomes. Feedback that can drain energy, reinforce double standards, and perpetuate gender bias.
Finally, I share strategies for reframing and resisting biased feedback, so you can protect your confidence and focus on growth that truly matters. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working twice as hard to fix things that were never broken, this episode is for you.
Key Topics Covered:
Feedback vs. bias: How to tell the difference
Competence vs. likability: The damned-if-you-do, doomed-if-you-don’t bind
Joan Williams’ prove-it-again bias and its impact on women’s careers
Vocal fry, uptalk, and other examples of style policing as bias
Practical strategies: reframing biased feedback and pushing back with questions
Manifestatement (Key Takeaway): Biased feedback is not your personal deficit. You are neither broken, nor defective. By reframing and resisting, we reclaim our power, keep the focus on outcomes, and push toward greater equity.
Resources & References:
Williams, J. C., & Dempsey, R. (2014). What works for women at work: Four patterns working women need to know. New York University Press.
Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episode:
Tone Policing, Vocal Fry, & Upspeak (4/7/22) https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565
TikTok trend example (Is a “top-tier” man just an average woman?) https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17XnA2v6E3/
Let’s Connect:
Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en
Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/
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