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Listen "Praise, Placements & Belonging: Support Neurodivergent Kids"
Episode Synopsis
What if we stopped talking about neurodivergent children and started talking with them? In this powerful, practical conversation, dad–daughter duo Cliff Kilmister (host of the Parenting, Autism & ADHD podcast) and Eva (13) share real-world insights on autism/ADHD, school placements, EHCPs, praise that actually helps, and why listening to young people changes everything. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or carer, this episode gives you language, mindset shifts and everyday strategies to help neurodivergent children thrive.
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Proudly supported by Carers Card UK — the UK’s #1 carers card. Get recognition, an ID card with emergency info, a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, community access and discounts on everything from days out to glasses — for less than a box of chocolates per year.
👉 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Parenting, Autism & ADHD Podcast (Cliff Kilmister) — search in your podcast app.
Eva’s YouTube channel “INSPIRE” — short videos on topics like masking, stimming, and bullying.
IPSEA (independent SEND law advice for families): https://www.ipsea.org.uk
Gov.uk: EHCP guidance for parents and carers: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/education-health-and-care-plans
Cliff's Book - What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop Talking"
National Autistic Society (resources for home and school): https://www.autism.org.uk
Andy’s book — Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠Three Key Messages
Voice over labels: Neurodivergent young people don’t just need adults to speak for them — they need adults to listen to them. Voice, choice and collaboration reduce anxiety and build trust.
Praise the process, not the person or the grade: Switch from “You’re so clever/10-out-of-10!” to “I noticed how you stuck with that and found a strategy that worked.” Process-based feedback supports resilience and reduces performance pressure.
Regulation makes learning possible: Stimming, doodling/sketchbooks, movement and fidgets are tools, not defiance. When classrooms allow regulation, attention rises and behaviour improves.
⏱️Chapter Timestamps
00:00 — Opening: Why talk with neurodivergent children, not just about them
00:20 — Sponsor: Carers Card UK — recognition, community & discounts
01:41 — Meet Cliff & Eva: lived experience behind the mic
02:28 — Moving from mainstream to an SEN setting: confidence, belonging & hope
07:08 — Diagnosis journey: how long it took and what helped
09:07 — Eva on podcasting: sharing honestly to help other kids feel less alone
12:22 — “Look at me when I’m talking!”: why eye contact isn’t the measure of listening
14:02 — Sketchbooks, routines & self-regulation: doodling to focus
17:08 — EHCPs: what we wish we’d known sooner (and why persistence matters)
23:20 — Rethinking praise: process vs. person/outcome — examples for home & school
29:07 — Eva’s videos: masking, bullying, and making sense of school
32:20 — Hopes for the new school year: safety, acceptance and the right support
35:24 — Free/independent SEND advice & why to keep asking for help
39:07 — Guilt, labels & advocacy: you can adapt support before diagnosis
42:26 — What teachers/carers should know: one thing that changes the day
47:14 — Messages to parents and kids: you’re not alone; your needs are valid
49:02 — Has this journey brought the family closer?
51:09 — Eva’s tip: journaling to feel heard and remember what matters
51:53 — Outro & how to share the episode
🎯Why Listen to This Episode?
Actionable for home & school: Concrete language swaps and classroom accommodations you can try tomorrow.
Lived experience: Hear directly from a neurodivergent teen on what helps — and what harms.
For the whole support circle: Parents, teachers and carers get aligned around connection-first support that improves behaviour, learning and wellbeing.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK
Proudly supported by Carers Card UK — the UK’s #1 carers card. Get recognition, an ID card with emergency info, a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, community access and discounts on everything from days out to glasses — for less than a box of chocolates per year.
👉 🎟️ Order your card today
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Parenting, Autism & ADHD Podcast (Cliff Kilmister) — search in your podcast app.
Eva’s YouTube channel “INSPIRE” — short videos on topics like masking, stimming, and bullying.
IPSEA (independent SEND law advice for families): https://www.ipsea.org.uk
Gov.uk: EHCP guidance for parents and carers: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/education-health-and-care-plans
Cliff's Book - What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop Talking"
National Autistic Society (resources for home and school): https://www.autism.org.uk
Andy’s book — Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
🧠Three Key Messages
Voice over labels: Neurodivergent young people don’t just need adults to speak for them — they need adults to listen to them. Voice, choice and collaboration reduce anxiety and build trust.
Praise the process, not the person or the grade: Switch from “You’re so clever/10-out-of-10!” to “I noticed how you stuck with that and found a strategy that worked.” Process-based feedback supports resilience and reduces performance pressure.
Regulation makes learning possible: Stimming, doodling/sketchbooks, movement and fidgets are tools, not defiance. When classrooms allow regulation, attention rises and behaviour improves.
⏱️Chapter Timestamps
00:00 — Opening: Why talk with neurodivergent children, not just about them
00:20 — Sponsor: Carers Card UK — recognition, community & discounts
01:41 — Meet Cliff & Eva: lived experience behind the mic
02:28 — Moving from mainstream to an SEN setting: confidence, belonging & hope
07:08 — Diagnosis journey: how long it took and what helped
09:07 — Eva on podcasting: sharing honestly to help other kids feel less alone
12:22 — “Look at me when I’m talking!”: why eye contact isn’t the measure of listening
14:02 — Sketchbooks, routines & self-regulation: doodling to focus
17:08 — EHCPs: what we wish we’d known sooner (and why persistence matters)
23:20 — Rethinking praise: process vs. person/outcome — examples for home & school
29:07 — Eva’s videos: masking, bullying, and making sense of school
32:20 — Hopes for the new school year: safety, acceptance and the right support
35:24 — Free/independent SEND advice & why to keep asking for help
39:07 — Guilt, labels & advocacy: you can adapt support before diagnosis
42:26 — What teachers/carers should know: one thing that changes the day
47:14 — Messages to parents and kids: you’re not alone; your needs are valid
49:02 — Has this journey brought the family closer?
51:09 — Eva’s tip: journaling to feel heard and remember what matters
51:53 — Outro & how to share the episode
🎯Why Listen to This Episode?
Actionable for home & school: Concrete language swaps and classroom accommodations you can try tomorrow.
Lived experience: Hear directly from a neurodivergent teen on what helps — and what harms.
For the whole support circle: Parents, teachers and carers get aligned around connection-first support that improves behaviour, learning and wellbeing.
🔗 Connect with Us
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
📲 LinkedIn: Able Training
📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast
🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk
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