This conversation is about recognising that the stories and narratives we tell ourselves about what should make us happy – high status, millions of social media followers, billions in the bank – are often inaccurate. Instead – we need to start paying attention to what does make us happy – for example, spending time with friends, connection, pro-social acts of kindness and altruism, playing sport, listening to music … the list goes on.Paul Dolan is a behavioural scientist and author of the bestselling book Happiness By Design and Happy Ever After. His motto? "Do things that bring you pleasure or purpose. If they don't - stop doing them."So, in this episode we discuss:Letting go of stories and paying attention to our experiencesHow willpower is weak but design power is strong – what that means and how you can harness it in your own lifeWhy you need to put your phone away and stop recording at gigs and festivals (it interrupts your 'flow of experience')Reaching narratives - and how the belief that X in the future will make us happy is an illusionWhy pro-social acts need to be celebratedWhy we should spend time designing our lives to increase the amount of time spent doing things that provide pleasure or purposeThe power of environment and how to harness itThe importance of acceptance and recognising we are all fallible human beingsAnd much more!**Warning** this episode contains swearing and adult themesPlease do share this episode with anyone who may benefit, and rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes a big difference and is hugely appreciated. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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