_______________WELCOMEYou Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others._______________SHOW NOTESMentors help their mentees steer clear of actions or situations that would hurt them and hurt others.  Whether you’re helping your mentee mature into adulthood, teaching them an age appropriate skill, or confronting a destructive behavior, here are some of the things we have found helpful for mentors to consider. 1. Earn the Right to Be HeardDon’t assume your mentee knows why you care for himSpeed of Trust by CoveyA kid doesn’t care what you know until he knows that you careTrust depends on your actions and their pastHard conversations require trustGive trust to build trust2. Pick Your BattlesDon’t rebuke every small thingFocus on what they’re doing right more than what they’re doing wrongBe wise and patient with them as they growIs this a life or death issue?Are their actions ordinary for kids their age?3. Prepare WiselyPray before you engage in a difficult conversationCheck yourself and your intentionsChoose timing and environments wiselyShare feedback toward the end of a meeting rather than the beginningIn a quiet place where they can focus on what you’re telling them4. Asking PermissionInstead of just blurting out what they are doing wrong, you can saying something like this:“You know I love you and want the best for you, right?”“Well, I’ve noticed some things that might keep you from being the best version of you. Do you mind if I share those with you?”If they say yes, proceed with your feedback. If their answer is no, let it goEstablish that sharing feedback is not the central part of the mentor relationship5. Rebuke Thy Neighbor Like Thy selfPut yourself in your mentee’s shoesAsking questions and getting them to think about the “why” behind their actions typically works betterAsk questions instead of talking “at” or lecturing your menteeShare personal stories and examples to help them see the bigger pictureBe careful with your toneIf the child thinks you are judgemental, harsh, or angry, the possibility of them shutting down or getting angry are highWe want the child to know that we are for them and that we believe the best about themCare more about their heart than their actionsGrace oriented6. Call them up, not outCall out their giftings and their potentialSpeak life over themEncourage them to do better and let them know that you are there for them in case things don’t go as plannedCall them up to all that they can be instead of calling them out for what they have done wrong7. You Can Lead a Horse to Water but You Can’t Make Him DrinkWe have to be ok with the fact that we have done all that the Lord has called us to doWe invest, and God transformsGod the Father is patient and gentle with usWe must remember that we are dealing with childrenLove them no matter what

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