In this episode Ali and Rich talk about the impact on us when our boundaries are out of place.  If they protect and circle others but do not protect and circle us.  They discuss how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can ripple through to our adult experience and what happens when we shift our boundaries to a healthier alignment around us.

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00:00 Introduction
01:14 Boundaries and the military mindset
02:01 Thee before Me and the displacement of boundaries
04:17 Changing our beliefs
06:32 Impact of displacement when you leave the military
09:03 Imbalance as protection
11:05 Compromise and the erosion of self-worth
12:30 Normalising negative responses
14:41 Over self-reliance and avoidance of letdown
17:07 Masking to avoid the Spotlight and Adverse Childhood Experiences
19:40 Relationships and the diffusion of risk
21:36 The nature of trust
24:39 Changing values and context
26:47 Long hair to short hair in one cut
27:48 Changing our internal representation
29:09 Changing embedded beliefs and values
30:58 Vulnerability of not knowing who we are
31:28 Description of Adverse Childhood Experiences(ACEs)
33:58 Reorienting your boundaries
36:06 Shifting priorities as we grow
39:04 Validation patterns
43:15 Lifeboat behaviours and external validation
44:07 Bridge out ahead warnings we ignore
46:48 Gameplay and repeating arguments
48:26 Ad-libbing and breaking repeating scripts
51:24 When we know our boundaries are now around us
51:40 Outro

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