"Moving on to the future without letting go of the past is like tying your arm to a post while catching a train'"This chapter of my life is figuratively about to leave the train station. I can't help but to feel that with this departure will come a lot of change and opportunity for new, small beginnings. I have been asked by God to let go of a lot things. Pride, fear, relationships, expectations, my desires, hobbies, and my brokenness. Today during church the young woman speaking differentiated between "leave" and "lost". Looking back at these past six months, my mindset has shifted from perceiving my sacrifices as being taken and lost. That was an easier scenario to tell myself rather than admitting that due to my growing love for God I was choosing to leave behind everything I thought I knew. I didn't find power in distancing myself from people I cared about or exiting situations that were no longer serving me any good. To me it has seemed shameful to change and become unrecognizable and yet, THROUGH it all I have never let go of the vision that God had placed in my heart of what my next home should be. So many times I came close to settling and I applaud myself for being open minded to exploring other options. I may not know exactly what the next place I am being called to is but I do know that it is prepared and waiting for me and that I have what is necessary to head that direction. That all my needs and the needs of others around me will be provided for along the way and upon arrival. That is is okay to get excited and allow myself to wade in the wonder of the possibilities of what life could be and that the disappointment does not have to keep me down if I do not allow it too . God taught me that to protect my heart I don't have to harden it like a hard to pick scab and introduced better ways to disperse the excess noise in an anxious mind. My attentiveness had to tune into the Holy Spirit because if I wasn't listening I would not have heard the conductor's calls to prepare and board the train that would take me to my next destination.  Now the conductor has made his final call for boarding and the train will be soon leaving the station. I choose what is next because what came has served its purpose for now.

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