One thing that you can do that can make your therapist or life coach, whoever you see really happy is this one thing. And what is that, I'm gonna tell you right now I'm working with a couple. And I've been with him for about a year and a half now when they're doing super well. And today, we were kind of declining a little bit in some behaviors, because we've had difficulties that showed up in the relationship that they haven't been able to solve. And one of those is where a couple is almost always looking at the other person in the relationship saying, you need to do better. And that would help me do better. Well, here's the one thing that can help you do really well with your life coach, or your therapist or your counselor. And that is stop thinking about what they're doing, even though they may be creating some of the difficulties for you, and owning how you react. In my relationships. I always own what I'm doing first, this is how I'm thinking, this is what I'm feeling, this is what I'm experiencing, based on what just happened instead of talking about what they're doing, and how they're reacting, and how they need to stop doing it, and how those things make me unhappy. And here's why. When I own my behavior, it's the only thing I can change, right? Because I'm looking at what's happening on the inside of me. And so owning what I'm doing truly transforms every relationship. And you. So in this couple, I was direct, but I was telling him that when his children say to him, he's being mean, stop denying it. And he said, but they shouldn't be like, no, maybe that's true. They shouldn't be but you're being mean. And stop being mean, when you're doing things that are creating more irritation in them. And you're yelling and screaming at them because you're out of control. Because you just want things to go your way. I don't want to hear what they're doing. I don't want to hear what your wife is doing. I don't want to hear what you're saying. And he said, Well, I forget that stuff.
That's why your wife is sitting next to me with you. And we're having her help you see that your don't self have thanks very well, you don't talk about yourself right. Now he, because I've been with him for a while he didn't get unhappy about it. And she wasn't saying this is what he was doing. She just was reminding him what he was actually doing, not our perception, and the language he used. And he owned the fact that as he was bringing it up, he said, Oh yeah, that's what I did. So his thought blocking is he doesn't want to own what he's doing. Because that's how he was raised. He was raised to be angry and make sure that everyone else stops behaving so we can get what he wants. Now he's at some point is choosing and some point, he's not choosing his behavior, because when we're not aware of it, we're not choosing. So now we're starting on him becoming more aware of and his assignment was to be very aware of when he's unhappy about something and own it, owning it like this. I'm just really unhappy right now. I don't like how I feel about this. When you did that I got really mad and I'm unhappy. I don't like how I feel. I've got to figure out some way to not be so reactive to this. There's something about it that things don't have to go my way. And that's why I'm wanting to start talking and thinking about himself because again, if we can own our behavior on the inside of us, they'll really help us get a lot better. I hope you're learning from these. I love you. I'm Dan Clark.

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