Send us a textSix Types of Boundaries: Physical, Sexual, Intellectual, Emotional, Material, and Time.Some Codependent Red Flags: Saying yes to everything (overextending yourself), neglecting yourself and your needs, avoidance, rescuing others from the problems they created for themselves, excuse making for others, if something happens to someone else you feel like it’s happening to you, taking care of people’s toxic behaviors, one-sided relationshipCounterdependency: Difficulty being vulnerable, can’t / won’t ask for help, fearful of being close to people, push people away, loneliness, do it all by yourselfResponses to Setting Boundaries with Difficult People: Pushback, testing limits, rationalizing and questioning, defensiveness, silent treatment, guilt, anger, manipulation, and possibly personal attacksThe Language of Boundaries: “I need…..”, “I want…..”, “I expect……” Use short clear statements for what your boundaries are going to be. Avoid vague, loose, undefined language, ie. “maybe….”, “as long as it’s not too often….”, “it’s not that big a deal, but….”. Remember, you will likely need to set the new boundary multiple times. Self Care Boundaries: What do you do to take care of yourself and how do you honor that time?Boundaries Sound like:With your parents: “I’m dating someone new. When you meet them, don’t ask them when and if we’re getting married.”   “Before you stop by to visit, I’d like you to call.”With your partner: “I know you’re close to your dad (mom), but don’t discuss our sex life with him/her.”  “It isn’t ok for you to keep things from me and discuss them with someone else.”With your money and materials: “I will loan you money, but I expect the full amount back by Friday.”  “I can’t loan you my car this weekend.” This is my favorite: “We don’t agree on politics. We should stop discussing politics at family gatherings.”

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