Ndugu came with a new hairstyle to studio. If you read that slowly, it sounds scandalous. The boy, who likes to be shaved from top down, was beaming all day. He even did a little jig in studio. And broke a seat. Instead of a backbone. Sad.
Of course, this has nothing to do with the episode because if you might recall, we don’t even know why we have this boy on the show. (HR says he is a ‘diversity hire’)
Brian kept talking about where he usually shaves. Which is awkward because we all shave our heads. Oh, right. I see it now. They are both heads.
He—Ndugu, not Brian—went to a Kikuyu barber across Luthuli street which means they pakad him fifty bob dye and gave him a hairline that normally does not exist as a diurnal animal. He looks like an amalgam of Njugush, The Murayas (the male one) and Kabi wa Jesus. Mungu Barber!
After getting fancy with the spices, the barber released him to the world and now we have to deal with a Ndugu with high self-esteem.
There was a lot of sexual tension in studio. Almost like a swan song. I assure you after the episode, we all slept alone. By we, we mean Eddy and Brian, which does not mean that they slept alone in a single bed. You know what? Forget it.
Gentlemen, do you know what a work top is? If you are thinking about your desk for reading think again—in fact, think with the other head.
A work top is in a kitchen. Your kitchen preferably. This means if you live in a bedsitter you can stop reading. We are talking to you Kibet Festus. A worktop is where, like Moses, you part the Red Sea, with your stick.
Because worktops, according to our resident technician, can only accommodate you at a certain height. If you are a short man you should also have stopped reading this by now.
I’d continue typing, but I have to scratch my head.

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