Has anyone here watched ‘You’? I don’t mean ati watch ‘You’ you—we aren’t into voyeurism shit, unless that’s your thing—we mean like watch You You? Si you know You, the series? Ama hamna Netflix? You poor sod.
Like a sleazy paparazzo, we peek through our greatest fears. We are back, not with a bang, because that would imply, we are having coitus, which is not the case because who has time to nini in janauary? The way this month is dry! That is an elite pun. Some people, like Jackson Ngari and Nana Sigilai will get it next week. The pun, not the other thing.
Good Lord, what is happening? I can’t even get my thoughts straight! I think we need two-factor authentication before we publish these posts.
Speaking of, our first episode is about nothing and everything in particular. Just like your relationship, that is, if she didn’t swipe left, which if you ask me, I think she should have after seeing your ‘On This Day’ Google photos. And, these days, doesn’t everyone Google his dates?
And by the way, you really should stop stalking your ex, Dorothy. It’s shameful, even if you are shameless. Move on. It’s 2022. We propose we give you Brian Mbanacho, to finish whatever little piece of heart your community boyfriend left. I know you are asking yourself: What kind of person walks out the door after seven weeks with a wooden spoon, a bottle of Gilbeys Gin and the Netflix password?
Everybody, Dorothy. Every body.

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