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Listen "Episode 070: Suzanne Stabile On How the Enneagram Works in Relationships"
Episode Synopsis
In this episode, Caleb and Todd talk with Suzanne Stabile about the Enneagram and how it plays out in personal and professional relationships.
Guest Links
Suzanne's website
Suzanne on Facebook
Suzanne on Twitter
Suzanne on Instagram
Life in the Trinity Ministry website
The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile
The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
Links Mentioned
Episode 44 with Chris Heuretz
The Learner's Corner Recommended Resource
The Creative Pep Talk Podcast
What We Learned
Eights: Challenger
They have the most energy.
They need to know that not everyone can keep up with them
They aren't aware of how they affect others.
They get energized by having conversations where people disagree
They are impatient with people who can't keep up
Communicate effectively with them by being brief, straightforward, and truthful
They want all the facts
They mistake tenderness for manipulation
Nines: Peacemaker
They have the least amount of energy.
They need to know that problems don't fix themselves.
They need to know that people can't read their mind.
They need affirmation and affection
Realize that agreement for a Nine doesn't necessarily mean participation and that participation doesn't necessarily mean commitment.
Ones: Perfectionist
They need to know that everyone does not notice all of the error they see
They need to be gracious when things aren't done the way they want
Don't patronize their desire to want to make things better
Admit and own the mistakes you made to a One
Twos: Helper
Don't expect people to know your needs. They don't know what's wrong.
Realize that the people I help, don't want my help
Know that Twos can only process verbally
They're ok with not being the leader, but they need to be recognized for their contributions
Threes: Achiever
Know that they can't set goals for other people, but they are good at setting goals
They feel love for what they do, not who they are. A person can't be loved for who they are unless they are vulnerable and reveal who they are.
They're ok with being the leader and in the spotlight
They are good cheerleaders and want to help you be successful
They are not interested in rehashing things in the past
Be softer than someone who is a Three
Four: Romantic
They need to know that people can't handle their emotional violability
They need to know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship
Not many people know Fours
They are the most complex number
Don't be afraid to tell Fours that you feel pressure to be more than you can be
Don't tell them to cheer up
Fives: Investigator
They are the only number that has a measured amount of energy
They need to know that they can't have a relationship without giving up some of their time and energy
They need to be clear about what they want to remain private
People need to know that there is a difference between private and secret
Don't push them to socialize
Know that if you ask them how they feel, they'll tell you what they think
Know that it costs Fives comfort when you ask
Sixes: Loyalist
They are the most populated number
They are the most concerned about the common good
They can't expect other people to be as loyal as they are
They need to know that other people don't struggle with anxiety as much as they do
They like to get to know people based on the details of their life
They need attentiveness and details
They need reassurance and reminded
Sevens: Enthusiast
They think they have all of the emotions, but they only have half of them
They need a fuller range of emotions and they need to sit in pain
They need to know that they can't be responsible to a relationship and they can't be dependable in a relationship if they keep all of their options open.
Don't try to get them to commit to a fixed scheduled. They thrive on spontaneity.
Realize that it's difficult for a Seven to be in a relationship if they can't make the other person happy
They love time alone
Quotes to Tweet
"Your Enneagram number is determined by your motivation, not your behavior." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet
"Until people are exposed to the Enneagram, they tend to think that everyone is the same." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet
"You can't change what you see, but you can change what you do with what you see." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet
New Episode Every Tuesday
Thank you for listening to the Learner's Corner Podcast.
We hope you'll join us for next week's episode.
Until next time, keep learning and keep growing.
Guest Links
Suzanne's website
Suzanne on Facebook
Suzanne on Twitter
Suzanne on Instagram
Life in the Trinity Ministry website
The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile
The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
Links Mentioned
Episode 44 with Chris Heuretz
The Learner's Corner Recommended Resource
The Creative Pep Talk Podcast
What We Learned
Eights: Challenger
They have the most energy.
They need to know that not everyone can keep up with them
They aren't aware of how they affect others.
They get energized by having conversations where people disagree
They are impatient with people who can't keep up
Communicate effectively with them by being brief, straightforward, and truthful
They want all the facts
They mistake tenderness for manipulation
Nines: Peacemaker
They have the least amount of energy.
They need to know that problems don't fix themselves.
They need to know that people can't read their mind.
They need affirmation and affection
Realize that agreement for a Nine doesn't necessarily mean participation and that participation doesn't necessarily mean commitment.
Ones: Perfectionist
They need to know that everyone does not notice all of the error they see
They need to be gracious when things aren't done the way they want
Don't patronize their desire to want to make things better
Admit and own the mistakes you made to a One
Twos: Helper
Don't expect people to know your needs. They don't know what's wrong.
Realize that the people I help, don't want my help
Know that Twos can only process verbally
They're ok with not being the leader, but they need to be recognized for their contributions
Threes: Achiever
Know that they can't set goals for other people, but they are good at setting goals
They feel love for what they do, not who they are. A person can't be loved for who they are unless they are vulnerable and reveal who they are.
They're ok with being the leader and in the spotlight
They are good cheerleaders and want to help you be successful
They are not interested in rehashing things in the past
Be softer than someone who is a Three
Four: Romantic
They need to know that people can't handle their emotional violability
They need to know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship
Not many people know Fours
They are the most complex number
Don't be afraid to tell Fours that you feel pressure to be more than you can be
Don't tell them to cheer up
Fives: Investigator
They are the only number that has a measured amount of energy
They need to know that they can't have a relationship without giving up some of their time and energy
They need to be clear about what they want to remain private
People need to know that there is a difference between private and secret
Don't push them to socialize
Know that if you ask them how they feel, they'll tell you what they think
Know that it costs Fives comfort when you ask
Sixes: Loyalist
They are the most populated number
They are the most concerned about the common good
They can't expect other people to be as loyal as they are
They need to know that other people don't struggle with anxiety as much as they do
They like to get to know people based on the details of their life
They need attentiveness and details
They need reassurance and reminded
Sevens: Enthusiast
They think they have all of the emotions, but they only have half of them
They need a fuller range of emotions and they need to sit in pain
They need to know that they can't be responsible to a relationship and they can't be dependable in a relationship if they keep all of their options open.
Don't try to get them to commit to a fixed scheduled. They thrive on spontaneity.
Realize that it's difficult for a Seven to be in a relationship if they can't make the other person happy
They love time alone
Quotes to Tweet
"Your Enneagram number is determined by your motivation, not your behavior." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet
"Until people are exposed to the Enneagram, they tend to think that everyone is the same." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet
"You can't change what you see, but you can change what you do with what you see." - Suzanne Stabile Click to Tweet
New Episode Every Tuesday
Thank you for listening to the Learner's Corner Podcast.
We hope you'll join us for next week's episode.
Until next time, keep learning and keep growing.
In God we trust