Listen "Breaking Free from Codependency and Control"
Episode Synopsis
Despite years of inner work, Jacqui felt blocked and unable to move forward. What she discovered through The Consciousness Method transformed not only her controlling patterns and codependent relationships, but gave her the courage to completely rewrite her identity and step into the terrifying unknown.
What You'll Discover
The Mirror Effect of Deep Work
Why working alone keeps you stuck in protective patterns:
How we unconsciously hide from ourselves even while "doing the work"
The power of having someone call out what you can't see
Why gentle confrontation creates breakthroughs where self-work fails
Moving from hiding patterns to owning them completely
Owning Your Role in Codependency
Jacqui's honest look at how people-pleasing became control:
Recognising "I'm actually part of the problem in our relationships"
How people-pleasing is a form of manipulation and control
The shame spiral that keeps codependent patterns alive
Shifting from taking responsibility for everyone to taking space for yourself
The Unknown Wound
From desperately seeking answers to sitting in presence:
How constant podcast listening, tarot, and astrology became power-giving-away
The terror of not knowing what comes next
Learning to sit in the most uncomfortable space without rushing to fill it
How embracing uncertainty allows life to unfold naturally
Identity Beyond Work
The courage to completely stop and redefine herself:
"If I'm not working, who am I? I'm not bringing anything to the table"
Sitting with the unworthy wound when external validation disappeared
How everyone's opinions flipped once she got comfortable with her choice
Creating reality from internal template rather than external expectations
Core Transformation Tools
Pain and Fear Processing:
Learning to scream in the car and feel everything fully
The liberation that comes after complete emotional release
Getting excited about pain because you know it leads to freedom
Energy Reclamation:
Stopping rumination and anxiety by drawing energy back to yourself
Watching people's reactions change in real-time as your energy shifts
The immediate feedback loop between internal work and external reality
Key Insights
The Control-Safety Connection: Jacqui realised her need to control everyone around her through people-pleasing was actually a safety mechanism - if she could manage everyone's reactions, she could feel safe.
Reality Creation in Real-Time: Every time she did energy reclamation work, people around her would respond differently - sometimes the exact opposite of what she expected.
Support vs. Expectation: When she stopped working, instead of judgment, she received complete support from everyone around her because her internal relationship to the situation had shifted.
Ongoing Evolution: The work isn't about arriving at "healed" - it's about having tools to keep creating your life from within rather than being victim to external circumstances.
About The Consciousness Method This approach works with the unconscious patterns that keep you stuck in protection mode, using gentle but direct mirroring to help you see what you can't see alone. The focus is developing sovereignty and internal boundaries rather than managing external circumstances.
"Just bite the bullet and do it. It's life changing. I can't say anything bad about it."
✨ RESOURCES ✨
Explore Mentorship with Allura here: https://www.allurahalliwell.com/consciousness-mentorship
[FREE DOWNLOAD] Consciousness - Shifting Meditations Start your journey with three powerful meditations that shift the core wounds of being unloved, unworthy, and unknown. Click here to access your free meditations
Connect with AlluraExplore the Consciousness Mentorship program: Schedule a connection call
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More episodes of the podcast The Consciousness Method
From Dysregulation to Deep Trust
20/10/2025
The Relationship Rewire
25/08/2025