#191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated

20/06/2025 36 min Episodio 191
#191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated

Listen "#191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated"

Episode Synopsis


Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

Feeling defeated by dehoarding? I’ve been there, and I’m trying to get out of it, so in this episode I unpack what’s really behind that sense of hopelessness, breaking it down into manageable pieces, and sharing practical steps for moving forward - even when it all feels impossible. If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just too tired to start, you’re not alone. So let’s talk about some concrete things you can try.
Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

Feeling Defeated by Dehoarding
Host’s recent struggle with feeling defeated and hopeless
Common reasons for feeling defeated:
The enormity of the task
Personal life challenges and lack of time
Breaking down what “defeated” means for individuals
Self-Reflection and Identifying Obstacles
Using self-questioning techniques inspired by CBT
Listing and mapping out the causes of defeat on paper
Examples of personal obstacles:
Fatigue and physical health
Difficulty concentrating
Emotional overwhelm and stress
Shame and self-blame
Sense of impossibility
Breaking Down Barriers and Theme Identification
Categorising specific reasons for defeat
Writing actionable notes beside each challenge
Strategies for managing each obstacle:
Sleep hygiene and physical health maintenance
Working on self-compassion and challenging self-blame
Supporting concentration and mental health through self-care
Trial and error with productivity and to-do lists
Coping with Overwhelm
Recognising overwhelm as a rational but paralysing response
Techniques for reducing overwhelm:
Breaking tasks into tiny, actionable steps
Focusing on achievable mini-goals
Reframing "impossible" goals into manageable actions
Addressing Stress
How personal and environmental stress feeds into defeat
Practical strategies:
Tackling smaller, actionable tasks to relieve work/personal stress
Honest communication with peers, family, and colleagues about overwhelm
Accepting that some sources of stress require long-term coping rather than immediate solutions
Tackling the Sense of Impossibility
Recognising the vagueness of the feeling
Returning to self-analysis to clarify what specifically feels impossible
Using accumulated small improvements to chip away at the larger sense of defeat
Dealing with Overwhelm and Taking Breaks
Granting oneself intentional breaks to refresh perspective without guilt
Comparing dehoarding effort to the need for breaks in work life
Re-evaluating Plans and Expectations
Assessing the effectiveness of current strategies and goals
Adapting goals to current capacity and circumstances
Seeking external feedback and community support
The Importance of Support Systems
Nurturing and expanding support from peers, professionals, and loved ones
Recognising where additional support is needed
Celebrating Small Wins
The importance of acknowledging tiny victories
Suggestions for gentle self-recognition and reward
Recording achievements for self-motivation

Links

Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder
Podcast episode 174: How to feel grounded when we’re overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall
Podcast ep 160: Dehoarding with the seasons: get inspired by nature when everything is overwhelming
Podcast ep 16: Dealing with overwhelm
Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach
Financial Confessions podcast
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
Become a Dehoarding Darling
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Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
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