Jason ruins the wholesome modern Christmas classic song, The Christmas Shoes. Observations include:

Thinking the song is actually sung as a parody by Parker/Stone is the most perfect summation of the song ever
All contemporary Christian band lead singers sound the exact same, come fight us
A song that should make you feel for the child lead instead turns him/them into a zombie choir
Rather than pray for the boy, the protagonist makes it all about him
TCS ruins rhyme schemes for Steve, and that's the most unforgiveable part
A Bible would be a much better accessory for his mom to take to her eventual Jesus meeting than brand new shoes

Steve ruins Santa Baby because he has never heard Eartha Kitt sing the original version, observing...

Assuming it's only ever about pedophilia and child porn, Steve is appalled with this great Christmas classic
Jason thinks using your sexiness and feminine wiles to goad a horny man into buying you a bunch of expensive shit you don't need is great, no notes

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