Theodora thinks that being a marine biologist will be glamorous - swimming in pristine blue oceans with charismatic megafauna. But, the reality is quite different. In this silly story about the trials and tribulations of underwater exploration, a budding scientists comes to embrace the uncomfortable and serendipitously meets her research subjects during a yearly orgy.Theodora Mautz is a graduate student in marine biology at Scripps Institution of Oceanography, UCSD. On evenings and weekends, she moonlights as an 80 year old with hobbies such as classical singing, knitting, and watching old movies.This story was performed at the Stage Room for the June 11th, 2025 SASSY show with the theme "Adaptation".

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