This week kicks off with John quizzing Merlin about his **vacation results**. After the usual quibbling about terminology, Merlin confesses to being terrible at travel. John thinks vacations don't have to be fun for everybody all the time, but Merlin feels like he was definitely a drag. Can't we just have a plan? If you want ice cream, just put it on the dang calendar. Travel anxiety is discussed.

Next up comes an extended meditation on **kitchen things**. Merlin cleans his pan with chain mail, and John's cheese grater finally died. Knives should not be sharp in the wrong places.

In what becomes an unintentional **lightning round**, the guys cover internet consumer products, a podcast recommendation, Atari arcade games, more mispronunciation virality, jokes people miss, the Baader–Meinhof Effect, and the pointlessness of asking your family not to talk to you. Merlin tests his wife's mental TiVo-ing skills.

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