Spirituality UnboundThe Faith That Saved MeI was raised in a Catholic school, amidst holy cards, litanies, long prayers, and a guilt heavier than any cross. I was taught that God was a stern-faced judge, watching from above whether one behaved well or ill, rewarding submission and punishing rebellion. I longed to believe… yet I also longed to live.I am Vanina Vergara - C.V. Vergara to the english-speaking world born in Asunción- Paraguay. I have three children whom I love deeply, and this is my life.For years, my spirituality was more fear than love. More duty than solace. Yet in my darkest moments—when I felt alone, broken, and rejected by those I loved most—it was faith that held me. Not the faith of guilt, but a new faith: the kind one discovers when nothing else remains.In the deepest silences, when injustice seemed eternal, when the diagnosis of psychosocial disability weighed upon me like a brand, I spoke to a different God. One who did not demand obedience, but simply breath. One who did not punish me for being strong, or for saying “I can bear no more.” One who whispered:“I made you thus, courageous. Do not kneel before pain—only look to Me, and go on.”That spirituality has no fixed church, no label. At times it is a prayer as I walk, at others a quiet conversation with my late mother, feeling her near, giving me strength. It is gazing at a tree and knowing all shall be well. It is lighting a candle and weeping without fear. It is embracing Pablo, my companion, and realising that too is faith: to believe in love after the inferno.I am no mystic, no guru. I am a woman who has learnt to pray with a weary body and an open soul. My spirituality is rebellious, for it no longer bows to the dogmas that once imprisoned me. My faith is free, and thus it is strong.I have learnt that God—or whatever name you choose—does not desire martyrs, but living beings. Not submissives, but awakened women. Not perfect children, but true bonds.And though many wounds still ache, I rise each day with one certainty:I am not alone. I never was. I read letters sent to mailto:[email protected]

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