In this eye-opening episode of Pleasure Principles, host Sana dives into the depths of desire with researcher and writer Aubrey Aust. Together, they unravel the layered relationship between desire, trust, and relational safety, exploring how somatic awareness and attachment styles shape our sense of self and intimacy. Aubrey shares how kink can serve as a conscious framework for building trust and how slowing down and tuning into the body can transform performative desire into authentic connection. This episode challenges cultural norms around intimacy and offers practical insights into cultivating deeper relationships.
About Aubrey Aust:Aubrey Aust is a researcher, writer, and MA candidate at NYU, whose work bridges relational psychology, somatic theory, and philosophy. She dives deep into questions many shy away from—how intimacy forms, how desire shapes identity, and how safety unlocks authentic connection. Aubrey brings a profound blend of academic rigor and embodied wisdom to conversations on trust, desire, and relational healing.
Key Takeaways:


Desire as a Compass: Desire isn’t just impulse—it’s a felt sense of aliveness and a guide to what brings us vitality.


Relational Safety: Trust and intimacy flourish when we feel safe to show up fully—physically and emotionally.


Kink as a Trust Framework: Kink dynamics, built on negotiation and consent, offer lessons in intentionality, communication, and attunement that many traditional relationships lack.


Somatic Awareness: The body senses safety before the mind catches up. Listening to these cues prevents disconnection and fosters authentic intimacy.


Slowing Down: Presence—not pressure—cultivates genuine desire. Slowing down and tuning into bodily sensations creates space for connection and healing.


Connect with Aubrey Aust:


Website: www.aubreyaust.com


Instagram: @aubrey__aust


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