We all start out with boundaries (just think about a two-year-old yelling “no!”), but along the way, many of us were taught to grow out of them in order to stay liked, accepted, or safe. In this episode, Kristine and Elise explore how to notice when a boundary is needed, what makes boundaries hard to set and hold, and why boundaries are a skill that helps us deepen relationships, not shut them down. They share stories, community responses, and walk through six types of boundaries (from Nedra Glover Tawwab’s book Set Boundaries, Find Peace).Plus: what to do when someone doesn’t respect your boundary, how to set boundaries with yourself, and a short guided practice by Kristine to help you return to what you need.Timestamps & Key Topics:00:16 – Why we wanted to talk about boundaries and how they’re often misunderstood01:29 – How our boundaries are trained out of us in childhood02:55 – Personal story about early boundary-setting04:21 – Poll results: Are you good at setting boundaries?06:13 – Codependency and blurred boundaries in close relationships06:48 – Signs a boundary might be needed (resentment, burnout, etc.)09:07 – What makes it hard to set boundaries: guilt, people-pleasing, fear of confrontation10:36 – Guilt doesn’t mean you did something wrong; it’s part of the process12:31 – Examples of boundaries that improved relationships16:32 – Poll results: Do you have a hard time saying no?19:55 – What are boundaries? Sharing Nedra Glover Tawwab’s definition22:01 – How to communicate boundaries clearly and contextually24:02 – The six types of boundaries (physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material, time)31:53 – How to identify which boundaries might be missing in your life33:38 – Boundaries as self-protection and a form of self-respect34:56 – What to do when someone responds poorly to a boundary36:31 – Reflecting on the therapy-speak backlash and misusing “boundaries” as control38:48 – The 4 C’s of boundaries: Clarity, Consistency, Compassion, Consequence40:31 – Setting boundaries with yourself (time, habits, inner voice)42:13 – A short guided practice by Kristine to visualize and reinforce a needed boundaryResources we mentioned in the episode:Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover TawwabUntamed by Glennon DoyleConnect with Us:⁠plainview.world⁠on Instagram ⁠@plai.nview⁠Elise Joseph James –⁠ elisejosephjames.com⁠Kristine Claghorn –⁠ claggie.com⁠You can also find us over on Substack: ⁠Elise⁠ & ⁠Kristine⁠The Episode 9 cover is a photo by Elise Joseph James.

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