Attachment Styles :  Anxious - Avoidant           Why Do I Pull Away OR Hold On Too Tight?Understanding your attachment style is the first step to building healthier, more secure connections.  💞 Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment StylesAttachment theory explains how early experiences shape our relationship behaviors. Here’s a simple breakdown of two common insecure styles: anxious and avoidant.🧠 1. Anxious Attachment StyleCore Fear: Abandonment or being "too much"Common Traits:Craves closeness and constant reassuranceFears being rejected or leftOverthinks messages or silenceStruggles with trusting a partner’s loveMay become clingy or “people-pleasing” to avoid conflictRooted in: Inconsistent caregiving. Love felt unpredictable growing up.Relationship Patterns:Attracted to avoidant typesMay feel emotionally “high” when things are good, and “crash” when there's distanceCan struggle with emotional regulation❄️ 2. Avoidant Attachment StyleCore Fear: Losing independence or being emotionally vulnerableCommon Traits:Values space and self-relianceFeels overwhelmed by emotional closenessMay shut down or pull away during conflictFinds it hard to express feelings or ask for supportCan appear emotionally distant or unavailableRooted in: Emotionally unavailable or overly demanding caregivers.Relationship Patterns:May view partners as “too needy”Often feels suffocated by emotional demandsTends to minimize their own needsWhen the pulling away happens, chasing may not be The right approach for an avoidant individual, it will create resentment, anger and bitterness because the person needs to re-energise And if the person is angry, they often take longer to process , therefore, your constant communication will feel like nagging and further  create annoyances exacerbating the situation. Whilst waiting for them to come around , you need to learn to self- regulate, be aware of things within your control and those beyond your control. You only have control over your thoughts, emotions and behaviour not that of others.Use journaling to process your thoughts and emotionsUse mindfulness, go for a walk, go to the gymNotice your triggers and focus on positive things and support systems around you. Ruminating and stressing about the situation will not make it disappear. ❤️ If you’re ready to break old patterns and create more secure relationships, counselling can help. With the right support and self-awareness, you can build stronger, healthier connections starting with yourself. Support us by Clicking on follow at the top right corner of the page to receive an update every time we upload a new audio and please Follow us on YouTube by clicking: https://youtube.com/@dr.tshidimwyllie1091/#You can also find us on Apple Podcasts Send us a textSupport the show"Everyday is a New Beginning "

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