When you are trying to understand your partner, it helps to try and see the world through their eyes. This is done by trying to put yourself in your partner's shoes and then trying to understand what it is like to walk around in them. Your not only trying to feel what it is like, you are trying to understand their reasoning behind their choices and actions. When you can understand the reasoning behind their choices and actions, then your partner will open up to you at a deeper level. Once they feel understood at a deep level, it will be easier for them to want to understand you. 

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