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Listen "Squirrels and Science Fiction"
Episode Synopsis
A report in last Friday's Washington Post, by way of a BBC translation of an Iranian editorial entitled "Spying Squirrels," reveals the following -
A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country's borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes .... Fixing GPS devices, bugging instruments and advanced cameras in the bodies of trained animals like squirrels, mice, hamsters, etc, are among modern methods of collecting intelligence.Holy cow! I'm not really surprised - in fact, flattered - because that's exactly the scenario of my 2003 science fiction novel, The Pixel Eye! (There are reviews etc here.)Now, according to folks in the intelligence community (I never thought I'd be using that phrase... ), the Iranians frequently do this sort of thing - they make up preposterous cases of spying, to keep their people on edge, and to be able to claim victimhood in the world community.I'm going to talk to my agent about whether I can get the Iranians to send me a royalty .... Now, if I hear that they think we're spying on them via chairs in dining clubs that time travel, I'll know they're really on to me...
In the meantime, here are seven totally true stories about my intersections with squirrels ...
1. My wife and I were visiting Marshall McLuhan at his Wychwood Park home in Toronto in 1978. He proudly pointed to a black squirrel running around his front door. "We have the only black squirrels in existence, right here," he said. I nodded - for all I knew then, it was true. I hadn't focused on squirrels too much before then. As soon as we got back home to the Bronx, though, I noticed three black squirrels in under a week.
2. At some point in my study of the Shannon-Weaver model of communication (I can hear 10,000 students groaning), I discovered exactly how they came to devise this model. There were lots of problems with telephone service after World War II, with big increases in the suburban population. S&W were assigned the task of finding out what was causing the problem. In so doing, they came up with the S&W model. And the cause of the problem in service: squirrels chewing up the new overhead wires that the phone co had put in the suburbs.
3. When we bought our home in Westchester, we inherited a bird feeder. The former owners pleaded with us not to take it down - "the birds depend upon it". We like birds too, so we left it up. The feeder was supposed to be squirrel proof. But not for the squirrels in our neighborhood, at least not after we moved in. They defeated every clever plan we came up with to keep them off the narrow wire that was holding the feeder, suspended, in mid air. Damn smart squirrels. I think at least two of them were black, too, either down from Wychwood or up from the Bronx.
4. At some point, a student in one of my classes told me she found a tiny, baby squirrel, and fed it, and felt terrible about having to let it go. She graduated before I could find out the end of that story.
5. I worry every time I see a mother with a little baby walk near a squirrel - they can be vicious, for god's sake.
6. Another student, by the name of Maurizio, once asked me why I prefer birds to squirrels. I think it's because squirrels are usually more arrogant - though, come to think of it, arrogance is a quality I can admire in people.
7. Not to end this on a down note, but in the South, they call squirrels "tree rabbits," and, well, you get the picture...
Interesting, huh ... but none are up to the Iranians and The Pixel Eye...
A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country's borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes .... Fixing GPS devices, bugging instruments and advanced cameras in the bodies of trained animals like squirrels, mice, hamsters, etc, are among modern methods of collecting intelligence.Holy cow! I'm not really surprised - in fact, flattered - because that's exactly the scenario of my 2003 science fiction novel, The Pixel Eye! (There are reviews etc here.)Now, according to folks in the intelligence community (I never thought I'd be using that phrase... ), the Iranians frequently do this sort of thing - they make up preposterous cases of spying, to keep their people on edge, and to be able to claim victimhood in the world community.I'm going to talk to my agent about whether I can get the Iranians to send me a royalty .... Now, if I hear that they think we're spying on them via chairs in dining clubs that time travel, I'll know they're really on to me...
In the meantime, here are seven totally true stories about my intersections with squirrels ...
1. My wife and I were visiting Marshall McLuhan at his Wychwood Park home in Toronto in 1978. He proudly pointed to a black squirrel running around his front door. "We have the only black squirrels in existence, right here," he said. I nodded - for all I knew then, it was true. I hadn't focused on squirrels too much before then. As soon as we got back home to the Bronx, though, I noticed three black squirrels in under a week.
2. At some point in my study of the Shannon-Weaver model of communication (I can hear 10,000 students groaning), I discovered exactly how they came to devise this model. There were lots of problems with telephone service after World War II, with big increases in the suburban population. S&W were assigned the task of finding out what was causing the problem. In so doing, they came up with the S&W model. And the cause of the problem in service: squirrels chewing up the new overhead wires that the phone co had put in the suburbs.
3. When we bought our home in Westchester, we inherited a bird feeder. The former owners pleaded with us not to take it down - "the birds depend upon it". We like birds too, so we left it up. The feeder was supposed to be squirrel proof. But not for the squirrels in our neighborhood, at least not after we moved in. They defeated every clever plan we came up with to keep them off the narrow wire that was holding the feeder, suspended, in mid air. Damn smart squirrels. I think at least two of them were black, too, either down from Wychwood or up from the Bronx.
4. At some point, a student in one of my classes told me she found a tiny, baby squirrel, and fed it, and felt terrible about having to let it go. She graduated before I could find out the end of that story.
5. I worry every time I see a mother with a little baby walk near a squirrel - they can be vicious, for god's sake.
6. Another student, by the name of Maurizio, once asked me why I prefer birds to squirrels. I think it's because squirrels are usually more arrogant - though, come to think of it, arrogance is a quality I can admire in people.
7. Not to end this on a down note, but in the South, they call squirrels "tree rabbits," and, well, you get the picture...
Interesting, huh ... but none are up to the Iranians and The Pixel Eye...
In God we trust