Sermon Transcript:Wonderful to see all you guys here what a blessing it is to be the pastor of Life Church. So forgetting this man, let's just admit it, it is hard to do. And for many of us, we don't even want to do it. And so some of y'all are trying to duck out now and figure out a way to get out of this idea. What is forgiveness, quite simply forgiveness is canceling a debt, canceling a debt. It's another way to say it, to give you some word pictures is to forgive is to write in large letters over a debt, nothing owed. Right as we think about some of the political things going on where they talk about loan forgiveness is the idea that whether it's millions or 1000s, it would be canceled, nothing owed, to forgive is to turn the key, open the cell door of a prison, and let the prisoner free to good word picture. The other word picture is to forgive is to pound the gavel in a courtroom and to declare the person not guilty, right, they are forgiven, to forgive is to loose or pull up the anchor of a boat and set that ship free to sail, we get the idea of this forgiveness is freedom. It freedom is on the other side, we understand that but there is something that has to be done. We know it does something in our hearts when we forgive, and we really can't get along without it. You think about this, that instinctively our culture and everyone around us even if you don't go to church, we all enjoy some aspects of forgiveness. Think about this offenses happen every day for you and me whether it's at the office, or whether it's a church or whether it's at school, or whether it's in your home. And so when those offenses happen, we have to process that in some way. You and I we all figured out a way to get along, or we'd be eaten up on the inside all the time, or we'd be killing each other right. And so even the culture and the world understands forgiveness and is even marveling at it at times I think about a movie that's almost a decade old now called unbroken where Louis Zamperini he goes over to fight in World War Two, he's tortured by his captors. And later on in his life, he goes to forgive and shake hands and befriend years later, the people who tormented him. So everyone recognizes there's value to forgiveness, but it's hard. Boy, is it hard, isn't it and we're not getting any encouragement. Think about some of the most recent movements that you and I have been a part of in the last decade, whether we want it to be or not canceled culture, think about what's going on when you and I either are canceled, or we cancel someone whether it's with a like or a flick of the pen, or with a typing on our phones, the me to movement and what was involved in that and how far it went. And you think about the racial riots, the mass shootings, all twist distort or just straight up chuck for getting this out the window, don't we? We think about those movements, we think about what we've been a part of and the divisiveness of it all. And we can see why at one level. These things were necessary and even good, man, we even maybe champion some aspects of these movements, because they were concerned about justice at one level. And we believe justice is good, right? Because we look at the Bible and we look at our God, we see that a just God calls us to seek justice in the world. Many of us don't want to or can't be can't forgive because it's hard. Because we feel justified in whatever we're doing to ourselves whether we're inflicting pain on ourselves, or we're dragging ourselves to sleep or numbing our pain. We do this because we either we believe we deserve it. Or they deserve that punishment for the rest of their lives. And so we find ourselves stuck. If we're honest, we stay away from forgiveness because we don't want to let them off the hook, do we? Because we know what we know what a loving and just God we serve. We're like Jonah, right? We're like, no, no, no, I know what kind of God you are. You're long suffering impatient and wanting to forgive and we want to let them have it. We do in our hearts and and things that were a part of at times. The good news is that you and I we can have forgiveness and justice. This is something that you won't hear outside the walls of a church or outside of Christendom, that whole idea that you and I can have both. In fact, we must have both. It is love and justice, forgiveness and justice that we both want to have. And of course it's okay for us to turn those over to authorities who have wronged us in some sort of criminal way. We're going to get into that. This is the introduction to a series that will be on for five weeks. But of course we believe that at timesbecause we have to turn things over to the civil magistrates, maybe it wasn't criminal, maybe what you and I experienced that hurt us and cut us. So deep wasn't criminal, but it sure feels that way doesn't it sure feels that way. When we wake up in the morning and we go to bed at night. We don't have to be gluttons for punishment. I brought this up last week and the idea of serving Christians and believers don't suffer for sufferings sake. So we don't have to be a glutton for punishment and keep going back to the same setup. And the same situation that has brought us much harm. The Bible demands justice, and we aren't even to seek it. But here's the deal. You and I so quickly, we move into revenge. That's why we don't ever want to put ourselves in the position of being the judge, jury and executioner. Because if we're honest, what we really want and sometimes pursue it is not simply justice. We want whoever offended us to be banished to the ends of the earth, the rest of their days, we want them to pay big, big time because we want to push beyond just the offense. We want them never to be heard from or seen again. So we hold that forgiveness. We got our reasons, don't we? We've got our reasons. And when we think about forgiveness, it's almost like trials or anything else in life, that you and I either are fixing to go into a situation we're going to need to understand forgiveness, we're in a situation, or we're coming out of one but see if any of these resonate with you, they do with me. Here's some of the things we tell ourselves reasons why we cannot forgive. I fear the offense will be repeated.I'm hanging on to a grudge because it gives me a sense of control in a situation that I have felt is so unfair. The pain that I experienced in altered my life, and yet no one has ever validated what I went through, and that it was wrong. Forgiveness feels like it trivializes or minimizes, or worse yet, makes what happened to me no big deal. I mean, just straight up, I'm not ready to forgive, I still hurt. They haven't even apologized or acknowledged what they did was wrong. It's easier to ignore this person altogether than to try and figure out boundaries. So they don't keep hurting me. They're dead, and or they're gone. And I don't think any good will come from forgiveness. Now. If any of these things resonate with you, and they do with me, we're good candidates for what the Bible says about this issue. Jesus at the end of his earthly life, and we're going to look to him first and we're gonna consider the Gospels and a couple other passages. At the end of his earthly life. He was part of a made up trial in the middle of the night, if you remember, he was falsely accused, wrongly accused. He was beaten, he was flogged, mistreated and understood. And he's made to carry his own cross. And that's where we pick up the story in the book of Luke chapter 23. Right here, and it says this to others. So there if you remember the story, there were two others with Jesus, on his way to be crucified to others, both criminals were led out to be executed with him. When they came to a place called the Skull. They nailed Him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified. one on his right and 100 his left, Jesus said, Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing. And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice. The crowd watched in the leaders scoffed, He saved others, they said, let him save himself if he is really God's Messiah, the chosen one. The soldiers mocked him to by offering him a drink of sour wine, they called out to him, if you are the king of the Jews, save yourself assigned was fastened above him with the words, this is the king of the Jews.And so what you see here is the whole idea that Jesus himself in that passage in that passage in verse 34, it's that whole idea of Father, forgive them, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. We keep going in the book of Ephesians. And it says this, get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead be kind to each other tender hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.First point I wants to see this morning and may not be that novel, but it's so important for us to start here. It's its foundation for everything we're going to talk about over these next several weeks. We can forgive because we've been forgiven. It's just that simple. And it's just that hard, isn't it? It's just that simple. It's just that hard. You're gonna say, okay, that's Jesus. I get it. Son of God, Son of man.And he's standing there ultimately up on the cross. And He says, forgive them for they know not what they do. And I know that the passage is there in Ephesians. Four, but how does it work? What are we talking about here biblically. And I would just say that, we're going to talk about how we can think through this. But I would just say that think about, again, what we value even as humans, humanity, you and I are never more like Christ, whenever more Christ like than we do this right here, when we forgive others, especially those who have wronged us don't deserve it and can never repay the damage they've done. I think about this in terms of, you know, one of the popular movies and plays that we enjoy with lame is. And that whole idea of when John Bel John goes to steal from the priest, the priest who had what given him a place to stay, and the cops come in, and they're ready to take him back to prison. And what does the priest say? Not only were you supposed to take all these things from me, but you forgot the candlesticks as well. And what does that do to him? What does that do to a man or a woman, when shown such kindness, such forgiveness, we are never more Christ, like, I'm telling you church, we're never more Christ like, than when we forgive because we've been forgiven. But here's how it works. It's our vertical relationship, we understand first and foremost that God forgives us. That's what happened to Diego, he understood that he saw the witness to testimony and his mom, he knew it was gonna go to basic training camp. That's why we had to do it today. He's heading out this week shipping him out, Although who knows where he'll end up in around the world. But now he's got Christ because He knew and he wanted. And we're all meant to come to a point where you say, God, you've got to give me a center. So that relationship has to be established first, then what we have is that whole idea in forgiveness, we have an internal aspect, where we now grant forgiveness to others. Now, I want to tell you, for the majority of my life, even well into my adult life, I did not fully understand this step, because the what I thought was, now listen, I'll forgive if they say they're sorry, right? Because forgiveness is a transaction a lot of times and so. So what we're waiting for is we're waiting for them to say, I'm sorry. We're like children, you remember, when you and I hit our brother or sister, we were brought by a parental authority, hey, you got to say you're sorry. And of course, you know, we wouldn't mean that we wouldn't extend forgiveness or say I'm sorry till he or she says it first. And so we find ourselves a lot of times in that, that we don't want to grant forgiveness, because we think falsely, we don't want to give that power to them, they've already wronged me, we're gonna talk a lot about this over the next couple weeks. But we need to understand that we cannot get these out of our order. First, we've got to be reconciled with the God of the universe, we have to know we're forgiven by God, then we have to do some internal work, to ask God to help us to forgive, especially when it's hard, and especially if they're not even asking for it, then we can look at the horizontal, the offer to reconcile, if that's even a possibility. And I understand that in some situations, it may not be. But what we can't wait for is we can't wait to forgive somebody and say, Well, I would if they would get around to asking for it. I would if they felt bad, or they felt sorry, in any way. Now, some of y'all are sitting here thinking, Wait a second Pastor, I hear this, this is all good, fine and dandy. And I think it worked in children's ministry. And I think it maybe worked when I was real little. And I first started reading the Bible, but you have to understand that my situation is the exception to the rule. That's how we often think, right? We hear something we're like, no, no, I hear you. But I'm in a different situation. You do not know the depth of the betrayal. That happened to me from a friend or family member, you don't know about the years of abuse, you don't know what you're asking of me. When you're talking about forgiveness. You don't know what it costs me and my family, financially generational wealth.Let me tell you what it's gonna cost us though, if we don't forgive. If you and I, if we say, okay, I hear all this. I think I'm understanding some of it or all of it. And I don't want this I'm going to walk away, what we'll do is we'll stay in a prison of our own making will stay in a prison of our own making. Remember, what I said was a good definition of forgiveness, to forgive is to turn the key, open the cell door and let the prisoner free. unforgiveness is like building a prison and putting ourselves in it. It seems so foolish from the outside looking in. But we do this when we harbor unforgiveness. Now again, we're going to talk a lot about the transaction and the reconciliation all that we're just talking about you and me right now, and our own hearts towards others who have wronged us. But here's the deal. We aren't hurting them at all. Are weAny, any psychologist or counselor or pastor worth their salt would tell you this, we aren't hurting them at all. Well, who are we hurting? Who are we hurting, we put ourselves in a prison cell, we're only hurting herself. But that's what happens though. When we're hurt and we won't deal with it. At the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ, there's a hole in there. Listen, I am wanting to acknowledge there is a hole in there. When you and I get hurt when we get cut when we get beat, and we don't give it to Jesus and forgive.What will we fill that hole with what we fill it with? What did Ephesians say we are to put away as we then grant and put on forgiveness to one another. If we do not take it to the feet of the cross, and we're all level. We're all level at the feet of the cross. We will fill it with bitterness, anger, rage, harsh words, slander, as well as all kinds of evil behavior,won't we? We've experienced this either in our own lives or in the lives of those around us. Listen, I want to tell you something, I want to say that this may be this may be the most important thing I say. And it's for someone here. I do not thinkI don't think whatever happened to you was right. I am sorry. I am so sorry for whatever happened. But here's what I do. Here's what I do as your pastor is I just believe that your heart, your heart, my heart is too beautiful to be in chains. It's just too beautiful to be in chains thatthis right here, picked up these chains right here. Use this sometimes my truck when I'm gonna pull out bushes, but but your heart Listen, listen, this is this is why I do this. This is why I'm a pastor, when you think about the heart of the gospel, which is forgiveness and reconciliation to God, which then allows us to be reconciled to one another.Your heart is too beautiful to be in chains. That's why That's why when we were designing this series that we made an image of a heart with a bandaid on it, because what's going on there. We're asking God to heal our hearts. And he can he wants it that unforgiveness. Listen is too much for you not to carry. We're just we're stuck. We're stuck in the prison. We're stuck in the chains. And you and I, we're not meant to be that way. We're not meant to walk around that way. We're not meant to live that way. We're meant to be free. I'm meant to be in chains are meant to be free. Free Free is a bird, right? No one I'm gonna play the song. It's a different generation.So much so much of the Bible. When I look at it, I think about contemplate it. It's so much about God coming to set the captives free. Were the captives you and me he has come to loosen our chains he has, and he will still be like, Okay, I'll do it. Alright, Pastor, I think you've convinced me logically, biblically, I'm moved. I will do it. I'll go on this journey. I'll make a decision to forgive. And I just say beautiful, beautiful. First step to take. The start of anything begins with a leap of faith, right? We understand this from a salvation perspective that we become saved, we become in a relationship with God, we are justified made right with God as if we'd never sinned. But then what follows immediately after that, sanctification are being made right with God over and over again in terms of our relationship, not from salvation, but that ongoing journey, that decision. So the process starts with saying, I'm willing to forgive or I do forgive. But then what happens what happens to your heart and mind? What happens your heart and mind come on what happens I don't care if you've started a new you know, workout routine or a new diet thing, what happens?Our hearts and they just don't want to align and cooperate with God's word sometimes do they are hurt feelings don't always want to cooperate, they have to catch up with God's word. But here here's what happens is we can acknowledge the facts. Once we sort of dig enough someone helps us to see enough or we just know we got hurt. Somewhere along the way, there are the facts that occurred and then there's the impact. You know what I'm talking about the impact the emotional, physical, financial toll the repercussions of whatever happened, we feel it don't we? The body keeps told God body keeps score and so does our heart.That's why many of us are so compelled to forgive and you're like, you don't have to tell me twice preacher. I get it. I live in this misery or I live with somebody who's miserable. I'm living in this prison of my own making.Well, here's what happens is we're all putting ourselves in prison. If weHave undealt with wounds hurts now, how do you know? How do you know? If you're moving in the right direction? Well, you need God's help and grace. Listen, it's not just a one time thing to become a Christian, but it's a daily act of obedience to walk into him and ask him to change your heart, help your heart, and eventually your heart can heal. Right? There's a reason why we put band aids on ourselves and on our children. Right? I might have had a paper cut a year ago, and I would put a bandaid on it. But now I'm okay, you can shake my hand, it's okay. That's why we believe your heart can heal. But sometimes we have wounds that aren't yet healed. How do you where you and I know if we're in that case, when it comes to the issue of forgiveness? Here's just two telltale signs I thought about one of the ways you and I know that we're still hurting in this area is that yours? And my response won't match the offense. You know, I'm talking about that when you're really upset. That whatever happens to trigger that upsetness, you know, it's way over whatever the offense was united experiences at work, right? That you move somebody's thing in the fridge or you move the pin over or you know, in the home, I can move my cheese, and all of a sudden there's a blowing up? What is going on there. What's going on there, as you and I are very quick to realize the cheese is not the problem, the pins not the problem, the sleight of hand or the bumping into you accidentally is not the problem. Because what happens is, is those small minor offenses, our responses aren't matching the minor offenses they are so we'll blow up and rage and your harsh words and something so small, that tells you and me so stop, we should stop and say what is going on here. Because I know I can't be mad at this situation. There's something else going on there. God I need to deal with it. The other way that you and I know that we're not quite fully healed, even though we might say we forgive or we're willing to forgive, is that we really do view ourselves as better more spiritual than the individual who we need to forgive. You know, I'm talking about here that that was a Oh, yeah, yeah, no, but But you know, God, I'm really better than them. Right. We're like, the one who is seeking to be justified before the Lord. And we're beating our chests. And we're saying thank you, God, that I'm not like him or her. And what the cross is saying to us over and over again, what Jesus is saying to us over and over again, is that we're all level at the cross. And so if you and I are not at a position where we do not pity that other person, we do not view them through a lens of compassion. We're not there yet. See, here's great hope because you know how we've all heard stories of people getting old and bitter, right? You may know someone like that a bitter old man, a bitter old woman.You can find yourself bitter for a season or for life, or for a time I get all that. But here's what I can encourage you, if you're finding yourself bitter, or you find yourself living or being around someone who has let unforgiveness and roots of bitterness and resentment, creep in that there's really a lot of hurt and pain going on there. So when you're trying to forgive someone, mentally think, Okay, this doesn't excuse whatever they did. But mentally think Man, they were once a little boy or girl that got hurt so bad, learn to pity someone and learn to see that they need Jesus just as much as I need Jesus, for sure the consequences of our center are different. For sure the repercussions of our sin are different, but we're not any different in our humanity, and our personhood. And so when we begin to see ourselves in the same place on the same level playing field at the cross, then we know we're getting closer to really forgiving someone from our heart and be healed. I haven't said a whole lot about the next and the third part, which is the horizontal relationship. I've got weeks to cover this. So let's get into Colossians three Colossians three, it says this, since God chose you and me to be the holy people he loves, This is what he did for us. You and I must close ourselves with tender hearted mercy. We show mercy because we've received mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, make allowance for each other's faults. And forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Next point I have is just that we must forgive.We must forgive. I didn't make that up. I want you to see it right there in the Scripture. So we've gone from we can forgive to what the Bible says is that we want to claim the name of Christ. And because of what he's done for us, we must forgive. Forgiveness is a command but it's not cruel. It seems that way. I know because in your mind, and in my mind, were flooded with the memories of what they did to us. I know that's what's going on. And so what we tell ourselves is man, God, that seems cruel, but it's notforgiveness as a command. It's God's divine.Mercy on our human hearts that are so prone to turn our hurt into hate. That's so true. We talked about this, maybe in anecdotally that hurt people hurt people. But what's the truth of the matter is it's not to hurt people hurt people, hurt people who haven't dealt with it hurt other people who haven't taken it to the foot of the cross, because that's how our human hearts work. When you and I have something that opens up a wound, if we do not fill it with the love and the forgiveness and the grace and the mercy of Christ, let us not be surprised if something different flows out that is repeated in both the passage in Colossians and Ephesians. And you and I know it in real life, because here's what we're doing and we stand in resentment. Here's what we're doing and want us to see this quote, this this morning, as we must forgive. Resentment is like drinking poison,and then waiting for the other person to die. Isn't that so true? those of y'all that have struggled with this, like I have, where you have so much unforgiveness in your heart towards someone or some situation or something. Isn't that so true? Because that's what we really want. When we resent somebody else. We're like, kill them, Lauren, I'm waiting, right? Let the anvil fall on their head, let them go move a piano in or something like that with a big rope dangling outside a building and let it fall on them. Because what we're doing is we're just not only putting ourselves in our own prison, but we're what we're drinking poison. We're literally hurting ourselves, isolating ourselves hurting those around us that we say we love so much. Why? Because we choose not to forgive. And we do not understand that. And again, we'll work into this in coming weeks. I know this is hard and difficult things. But it's just what Christians do. Christians have always been marked by this, that our hearts are those hearts that extend forgiveness because we've been forgiven. Think about this in terms of Lord prayer. I know as the people who grew up in more liturgical settings, whether it was Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, whatever. And you said the Lord's prayer every week you had to on a Sunday, think about it, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and do what? And forgive us our trespasses or debts, or sins. If you want to use a more modern term, forgive us our sins. What? As we have forgiven those who have sinned, or trespass or dented against us, oh, my gosh, it's just right there in black and white. We said it every week. But oh, how hard is it for us to walk this out? talk a lot about and we'll cover a lot of the questions surrounding the issue of forgiveness and coming weeks. So hang on, let's think about this we want to and how do we walk away from a relationship? How do we set up boundaries? What does that look like? When are they healthy? When are they unhealthy? What about forgiving myself? If that means anything at all? Is there any truth to that, as we see that in many self help books? What if I'm mad at God? Might you ever been there? We're like, I didn't want to talk to you right now God because of what you did. It's the way we sometimes talk. Is that right at all? And how are we to process that? What about abuse and long term damage? What about my consequences? What about their consequences? Certainly, as we think about this series, you're just sitting there thinking, I don't know, Pastor, I just don't know, I still, it's not me. I can't I can't do this. That's exactly right. Because you you sit here and you think no one is going to convince me on this planet otherwise, and I would just say, Praise God, amen. Because someone had to come from outside of our universe, put on flesh, the God man, Jesus Christ Himself, and that we can do this, the foundation for us to move forward and grace and mercy and love to others has already been modeled for us by our Lord and Savior. Who among us would say that we have endured more than he has, who among us would say that? None of us because not only did he endure all of that physical pain, rejection, torment and all that, but you and I understand that he carried our sin upon him and forgave us so that we are able to forgive others. Let's pray. Father, I thank you so much for your word. I thank you how you did forgive me, and you forgave so many people in this room. I know that there are many who are contemplating their relationship with you and their relationship with others. I dare say that everyone who is tracking who's tuned in has an image of someonethat hurt them.Person is a father, I just pray that You give us much grace that you grant us the wisdom and the grace to be able to for Give to be able to loosen those chains and to be able to walk freely and who you are and who you made us to be massive things in Christ's name amen

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